1 .
" I don't wanna be touched anymore....not by her ."
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I haven't really wanted to be touched (currently by her)
Like at all because of finding out what happened with the relationship I had with my uncle was actually sexual assault/ abuse
And other men.
And like I've tried telling her about it but- ( - "I can't hear myself ")
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And after that I've been saying no
"Can I have a photo of u?" - her ( going to be talked about)
"No"
"Can I have a kiss?" - her
"No"
"Can we -----?" Her
"No"
"Hug?" - her
"No "
"Cuddles" - her
"No"
⤷ ゛ what she says in response
"Whyy?"
"Cmon please?"
"Just one?"
"Pleasee I beg of you"
"But whyyy"
"Why though"
"No ur not just give me one"
+Mm
After I told her my hypersexualty ( few days later )
"Cmon I know u want it"
"Cmonnn~ i know u want to".
Sighs..
Can't I just die-?.
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2 .
. " I can't hear myself . . "
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" - I've tried telling her about it but "
So recently I've found out that in my trauma I was sexually abused/assaulted/harassed by different men.
And as need of communication me comes in and tells my girlfriend trying to mentally get comfort
"I don't wanna talk about that topic."
Oh, okay.
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I normal would've been okay with it
If she wasn't the one coming to me about topics like that and still does and I have to put up with it because what kind of lover would I be if I can't be there to comfort her . . .
And I can't go to my friend about it because their younger then me (two too one year) and they are going through things at the same thing so I have to go to my main person, I was denied
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3 .
" She can do it but not me? "
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"She can do it but not me ? Why not?"
So recently I've uncovered the fact I can't speak my shit about my discovery of my abuse,.
Well ! That isn't the only thing !
Because I can't say shit !
Because I can't hear my own voice . . .
Cause I'm busy being a therapist when I was meant to be venting.
I'm venting and it turns around to her.
Or I just get
"Oh well maybe they didn't mean it"
"Damn"
"Oh"
"Well I been through the same"
+
. . . . .
"Why aren't u telling me ur feelings anymore?"
Because I can't talk about my feeling without feeling guilty because it hurts her feelings. Because I made her upset.
"Tell her about what she's been doing wrong"
Her - "ur right what is my punishment?"
Me - "u don't need a punishment.."
Her "should I cut myself? Hurt somewhere? Bang my head? Give me a punishment"
Me - "I'm not gonna give u a punishment. I ain't gonna do it"
(Different time)
Her : "(sobs) I didn't realize"
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4 .
"STOP LYING TO ME . . "
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So recently I was joking around with her in a game
"Ur my bitch now >:)" (if u fr know me yk I mean in a nice way and I call everyone a bitch)
And it was a whole thing "I ain't ur bitch." - her
Okay then
She brings it up again
Talking about how bitch is for female dogs and how that I was calling her a dog and
How Everytime she says something im "hating on her"(that word really fucking pissed me off)
And we went back and forth about it
⤷ ゛ "you hate on me about --"
Hate? Excuse fucking me u used the wrong word. FUCKING COMMUNICATED MY FEELINGS ON IT.
I'm no hater I'm just fucking honest with y'all fuckkers.(Sorry)
And like it's not the first time but I ain't texting all the shit.
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Bonus one
(PHOTOS)
So I fucking hate myself so fucking bad I hate everything about it.
Before I met her I managed to have no photos of me for five years. And when I met her I managed to start taking photos... Then someone said something
(I'm extremely sensitive about my looks)
And she didn't tell me that they said something (the person)
Because without my permission she posted about me on Instagram and obvious me I would look at her account " that is me?"
I see there's comments ...
"They look ugly ASF an I don't even need to see their face"
"Ew a afo?"
And she never told me about it till I told her about it
"Oh I wanted to protect u"
Protect me from what. The worst thing about finding out about something is if u find it on ur own and the person doesn't tell u or even think about telling you .
And I got mad and she end up saying " there's more it-"
More...?..…..
The fuck you mean more..
And during the situation she was still following the person who said that about me
OH YEAH THE PERSON WAS ONE OF HER FRIENDS (3
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+ More vents coming in +
