I don’t think anyone reads these things. That’s cool, cuz’ man…writing in that pretentious developer style is so tiresome. I get tired of sounding all stuffy, y’know?

So look, everyone is talking about Trump. Trump this. Trump that. Trump in your coffee. Trump during your commute. It’s everywhere and it was really starting to effect me. I was watching a lot of Let’s Plays of Detention and Lone Survivor; I was playing Papers Please and Dead Synchronicity. I couldn’t even have a calm conversation with friends without sounding defensive, accusatory, saddened or just plain pissed off.

The news wouldn’t let up and I could feel myself just becoming cynical. Just dead ass cynical.

Then ‘The Male’ complained I was too depressed and I should, in good haste, lighten the hell up.

What should I do: smile and pet a puppy?

Then it hit me. Yes. Yes, I should.

I wanted to do something hype with a Granny. When I say hype, I mean have this comedic Granny in this pressure chamber full of puppies, right? She owns this stress release pet shop, this haven of cuddles. Fluffy puppies come out of the walls just to love and lick and snuggle Granny; she perfects this super sonic petting ability that sends these puppies in an orgasmic fountain of pure furry four-legged bliss.

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