It was a cold day... or was it a night? The wind blew on my window, even though it was closed, i could still feel the cold breeze of winter swallowing me hole. I breathe in. I breath out.

I remember what YOU have told me back then, [REDACTED], and, honestly, it was true. "I am not a good person and i never will", that's what you used to say, right?

As i watch YOU getting closer, i can just feel a bittersweet taste in my head, at the same time I'm scared of screwing all up again, I'm... relieved? A wave of relief washes over me, as you get closer.

Then, darkness. Everything went blank... or black in this case. YOU were gone, nowhere to be found. I searched, searched and searched again. But YOU were gone. YOU won't come back.

Tears form under my eyes, thinking while i write it all down. I wish YOU were still my friend. I wish YOU were still YOU. Gosh, YOU don't know how... how stupidly I envied YOU. How i envied YOUR happiness, without me.

Am I a toy for YOU, my dear? Just a thing to play and, then throw away? My mind is numb, I'm sorry for wasting your time, ranting about friends that won't come back.

I know YOU are still alive, but, that's not how it seems, since, we all know YOU are dead inside.

Goodnight.