I hear it, sometimes.

I hear its voice.

It's calling for me, telling me to let go, telling me that it's over.

But I cannot follow it.

I feel as if hold back from it. As if.. as if something would happen if I did. Something that would make me regret everything. So I stand here, frozen, fearing that each movement might ruin all the peace I had brought together like a broken vase.

And yet.. it doesn't give up. It still calls for me. It's insisting; it knows — no , it thinks I deserve better. But I don't think so.

What if he finally loves me? What if the moment I give up he changes his mind???? But.. what am I even thinking? I have killed everything that was good in me. I destroyed myself just for that person. I didn't feel enough. And now, I definitely am not. We distanced, and it tears my heart apart. I still love him, though. I love him as much as before — if not a tiny bit more. I have seen his flaws now, and it makes me feel nothing but love and care. It hurts, of course. But it still makes me feel.. as if he's closer to me than we would admit. And.. despite that. Despite everything, the forest is still calling.

But I have chosen I will not he following that sweet voice.

It feels like cheating.

It feels like losing.

I am not a coward.

And I am not a fake lover.

I will hold on. I will survive all the heartbreak despite how it hurts.

Because somehow,

I always do.

Sry if there are mistakes ok its past 11pm