I can’t fucking take it anymore. I’ve watched 400+ anime, watched tons of cinema, read a significantly less amounts of books, and I STILL have never been hooked to a charger before like this. I need Susie. I understand what’s been wrong with me for the past 10+ years, why Ives been so utterly bored pf all woman that have ever been interested in me even in they’re leagues above me in physical attractiveness, and why I felt nothing when I broke it off every time. They’re just not fucking like her. They’re not strong, or independent, or funny. I’d like to sad that some of them were, but I can’t do that in good faith. Susie is all I ever wanted as a partner. You know, someone who can beat the shit out of me but isn’t a a mindless brute, someone who still retains womanly aspects while being so much more, someone who I can banter with actually rely on and see as an equal. I wanna take her out stargazing and wandering through forest in the middle of the night for no reason at all. I wanna drive to absolutely nowhere and stop wherever it seems intresting while we shoot the shit and stop to cuddle at some points. Id dock and watch shitty movies with her and laugh at them but not dissect them like some gay ass (slur) armchair movie critic subhuman like my previous gf who is absolutely insufferable and I wanted to slam her against the wall and tell her that her stupid fucking opinions don’t matter and you don’t know what good shot composition is you pseud bugwoman cunt God Susie’s so lovely. Haha oh man I’m cackling right now because I’ve been drinking alone it’s so pathetic, also because I finally get it. I finally found my type bros. And even if they doesn’t exist, it feels like this great weight that’s been plaguing me for years had finally been lifted. Maybe someday I’ll meet her, or somewhat like her. Oh well, at least I’m a little bit closer to pease.