Level 1-1: Green Lands

Presley | what the fuck why am i in a kirby game

Lukeself | PRESLEY! Have you seen the news?

Presley | bambs got kidnapped? again?

Lukeself | well, yea-

Presley | and i have to save him within a selection of my friends for back-up?

Lukeself | yeah.

Presley | shit's like any kirby game atp.

Bombo | hey uhh before you EAT me. let me explain a lil smth. Basically, us, SPECIAL enemies, can give you powers if we get eaten, basically there’s a lotta abili-

(Presley consumes Bombo, gaining the Bomb ability and a new makeover)

Presley | didnt give a shit of all of his yapping, but hey atleast i got a nuclear bomb on my hands

Lukeself | true

(They keep on walking.)

(A tutorial sign is shown: Press “X” on the console to throw friend hearts to any enemy!)

Presley | shut the fuck up i knew this since the game boy advance games of the pink ball having twins. also FUCK the friend hearts im gonna get LOTSA abilities.

Lukeself | wait doesn't that count as ability abuse

Presley | yes.

(Two Bombos get in their way)

Presley | hell nah they got their cousins

Lukeself | enemies are diverse, dude.

(Presley throws the bomb at the two)

Presley | Wow. An effortless throw. Impressive. like any fucking game the bad men produce.

(The warp door is near them, so Presley and Lukeself get in)

(They see a new enemy)

Crispy Carl | Yee scallywags won't get thru-

Presley | stfu and die

(Presley drops the bomb)

Crispy Carl | WOAH WOAH WHY DID U DROP THE ITEM BRO CONSUME ME NOT BOMB ME-

(Crispy Carl explodes on impact)

(There was 2 pieces of banana below the bridge inside the structure)

Presley | we have le banana. what DK eats, for some reason. like bro he's an ape why does he gain privileges to eat a banana-

(After eating the bananas, they go back to the stage)

(They go onward to a gap, which they jump thru)

(After that, they see a puzzle. but behind them, are two enemies)

Crispy Carl | hi bitches

Gladius | what up skunks

Presley | okay we have a new enemy but WE WITNESS A COMEBACK TO A FUCKING BACON BITCH

Lukeself | Presley, you do realize.

(Lukeself points to the puzzle of the bomb)

Presley | mf do you think I care…wait, IDEA.

(Presley consumes Crispy Carl, granting the Fire ability)

Gladius | please bro don’t put me at the border :C

Presley | bro thinks im Timmy Turner from The Fairly Oddparents 2001-2016 nickelodeo-

Gladius | stop it.

(Lukeself consumes Gladius, granting the Sword Ability)

Lukeself | how do i look bru

Presley | god damn you look sexy

(Lukeself cuts the fuse, while Presley ignites it)

(Bomb blows up, destroying the walls, allowing them to pass)

Presley | Come on!

(They go thru the warp door)

(They land on a mountain area)

Lukeself | this can’t be that bad right.

(A panicking Bombo comes to them)

Bombo | grah! help us! a powerful being took over our mountain! please help us end his dictations!

Presley | my guy i wanna live

Bombo | then help us residents!

Presley | wait let me

(Presley floats to Plantacious)

Plantacious | Well well! Look at what the endeavours get me! Pesky bitches saving a somber friend!

Presley | shut the fuck up and paint yourself. NOW!

Plantacious | i dont think i will.

Presley | no like i don't think you get the point like i have a paintbrush by the palm of my hands

Plantacious | oh, anyway YOULL NEVER CLAIM MAH FUCKIN TERRITORY!

(Garden's Miracle: Plantacious)

Presley | as said, PAINT YOURSELF NOW!

(Presley throws a paintbrush at his eyes)

Plantacious | as if that would do shit

Presley | oh you gotta be FUCKING KIDDING ME

(Plantacious uses a hammer to whack Lukeself)

Lukeself | GEOWCHIE

Presley | leave ‘em alone, else I'll use this!

(Presley makes a drawing of a giant axe, which then becomes real.)

Plantacious | like if THAT was intimidating.

Presley | how about i spit the lore of Warner Bros for ya, HUH!?

Plantacious | damn

(Presley swings the axe and tortures him with Warner Bros lore until he fuckin dies)

Plantacious | gosh. I didn’t know you were enormously skilled.

Lukeself | never judge a book by its cover, broski.

(Plantacious explodes)

(Presley and Lukeself do the victory dance, playing the Kirby Star Allies victory theme)

Presley | Adventure awaits, my friend, come on.