Level 1-2: Crystal Grotto

Presley | oh boi a cave!!! what could possibly go wrong inside!!! possibly not an enemy goin in our way!!!!

(they go inside)

(Steffen stops them)

Steffen | well, well. if you wanna pass, just answer my riddle! give me food and i shall rise, give me water and i shall die. what am i

Presley | erm, according to Reddit sources, most answers comply of Fire and Thirst, but my choice is Fire

Lukeself | oh brother, this riddle STINKS

(Lukeself prepares to consume Steffen)

Steffen | WAIT WAIT I DIDNT MEAN I-

(Lukeself consumes him, granting the Staff ability)

Lukeself | hey look “I aM fReNcH. BeCaUsE i HaVe A sTaFf”

Presley | LMAO

(A dim light is on, revealing a cart, inside is a Dream Rod.)

Lukeself | yo i found loot. or as the pirates say, BOOTY!!!

Presley | not funny

Lukeself | sorry.

(Presley grabs the Dream Rod)

Presley | now de fuck do I do with this thing?

(A new enemy was in the mine: Goldon)

Goldon | Just activate that thing and a randomizer will be shown. Then press the button again to select your dream frie-

(Presley consumes Goldon and gains the gold ability)

Presley | thanks for the information albert einstein!

Presley | also im spawning EVERY ONE OF MY FRIENDS AT ONCE!!! I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT THE RULES!!!

(Dream Rod: not possible.)

Presley | WHAT THE FU-

(Lukeself tries to fix that)

Lukeself | okay i manipulated the thing try it now.

Presley | okay

(Presley summons fucking everyone the fuck is he onto???, playing the “Kirby's Avalanche” intro screen theme)

Ethan | what the fuck

Vengeful | omg thank you pookie

RIA | excuse me, what.

IGO | WHAT???? HE IS GAY????

Vengeful | stfu space cocaine addict

Miguel | i am confused, wut de hel is going on

Presley | like that one quest thingy that was cancelled, we need to save our boy.

Miguel | well shit

Ceru | the bigger question is, why are me and this vd impersonating cracker here?

Parslii | what about me twin

Presley | stfu and let's go

(everyone goes to their minecarts, with the teams paired)

The Recolor Men: DH, Presley, Thorn, Inveterate

The Besties: Lukeself, Lightning Expunged, Ludrici, Miguel

The Haters: Vengeful, ATE, RIA, Ethan

The Higher-Ups: Ceru, Parslii, Lucas, Nil

Vengeful | these teams suck.

RIA | motherfucker YOU SUCK

Presley | :C

Vengeful | -cessfully are a good idea. great name?

(Presley does the enlargening mouth from TPOT 12)

RIA | YOU SUCK RIPOFF CONBI

Ethan | i want to end my torture.

(The minecarts begin to head to thru the cave)

(Screentime for the recolor men)

Presley | so where the fuck we goin

Inveterate | you tell me

Thorn | wait a second WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT??? WHY DOES THAT GUY HAVE THE FACE OF TIMMY TURNER-

(APHATB appears and then beats the shit out of thorn, and then disappears)

Inveterate | whats wrong with ye thorn you look like you saw a ghost

Thorn | DID YOU EVEN SEE THE BITCH THAT HAS A FACE OF A NICKELODEON CHARACTER

Presley | buddy that’s my kid.

Thorn | WHAT THE FU-

(screentime for the besties)

Lukeself | it’s so sad presley isn’t with us =(

Lightning | yeah :(

Miguel | true but hey, atleast we can get to go on our own sedimentary adventure!

Ludrici | i wish ice got you

Lightning | not cool, dude.

(Lightning thunderclaps Ludrici, stunning him)

(Then, he lies flat down)

Lukeself | gang why is there a bitch that has the face of a fairly oddparents meme

THE CONGO | i was sent here mf shut up

BUDDY | shut the fuck up we have to deal with the argument makers next

(A puffypine falls onto Lightning’s lap)

Lightning | YEOWCH IT HURTS

Presley | OOH A THING THAT MAKES YOU A SPIKEBALL!!!

(Presley consumes it, gaining the Needle Ability, then rolls back to his cart)

Lightning | dammit.

(The screentime for haters)

(Insert IGO and Vengeful arguing)

Ethan | please. let this torture end.

RIA | i should've ended up in another cart. hell, let Lucas take my place.

Vengeful | hell nah.

RIA | SHUT YOU STUPID N-

(Technical difficulties have occurred, we will get back to you! However can you find all the circles in the screen?)

(Vengeful grabs the techincal difficulties screen and throws it)

Vengeful | there. that’s no longer a problem.

(screentime to the higher-ups)

Lucas | has anyone ever wondered why were we ever chosen

Ceru | ahem. the little logo lit son of a bitch with his artistic friend that might cause another war.

Parslii | i feel uneasy by this

“YOU ARE TEN YEARS OLD” | hey has anyone seen a guy this tall, everything yellow, loves logos very much

Lucas | there.

(He points to the Recolor Boys cart)

“YOU ARE TEN YEARS OLD” | k thx

(He moves on to the recolor boys cart, and then beats the shit out of Presley)

“YOU ARE TEN YEARS OLD” | that’s for stealing my house. fuck you. i can no longer pay the fucking rent.

(He then disappears)

Presley | what the fuck.

(Everyone reaches the end of the minecart, where 3 Crispy Carl’s are there, guarding the doors)

Crispy Carl | HIYA BITCHES!

Presley | BITCH.

(Presley grabs them and uses them as bowling balls)

(Lightning consumes one of them, giving them the Fire ability)

Lightning | now i can make burning lightning strikes!

Ceru | gulp.

(Everyone steps into the mine door, where they see a hanging cage, which AngelGames is trapped in, each minute, that said cage descends 1 stud into the lava.)

Lukeself | WHAT THE FUCK. WHO WOULD WANT TO DO THIS

Presley | fuck this.

(Presley floats and makes the lava obsidian from Minecraft holy shit)

(He then frees AngelGames)

AngelGames | thank you

(The cave exit opens, they go onto the exit)

Lukeself | We did it!

Presley | i*

Lukeself | no we were separated to teams, we did some things that were considered helping, so that means WE did it

Presley | okay but i saved the guy whos text has the similar color scheme as the CosMc's logo-

Lightning | just fucking play the victory theme.

(Insert the same victory theme for Kirby Star Allies)