Yes, it has been a problem since 2020 August. My parents separated back then, and I stayed with my father because of my dog. My mother lives roughly 100 kilometers away from where I live, and what I'm going through, is hell.

I'm barely away from turning 17, around 3 months left. But this is really worrying me. I don't know if I will survive until I turn 18.

It all started in 2021. My father one day came back from work, really stressed. I tried to help him settle it down, but I only ended up as a 'bullet sponge', aka the one he took it out on. I ended up hurt, badly.

Now, my country's laws enforce that grown-ups shouldn't and can't attack children. My father straight ahead disregards that, and he somehow got away with it for around 11 years.

Then in 2022, one week before my english language exam, he came into my room at 3am, told me off for falling asleep over my exam practice, and hit me in the back of the head with full force. I lost my right eye for a full week, and it occasionally occurs that I don't see with it. Now it happens less, but still.

Around then did I start having second thoughts, was it really worth it? My uncle, who is my mother's brother, and a musician at the same time, stood behind me. I know I am not alone, but I rant this out on the internet, as it's less likely for my father to find out this way.

Either way... I feel heavily betrayed, I can't trust my own parents over this. They are acting like children. I am at the direct line of abuse, literally, for anything that happens, be it my mistake or not.

It is the fourth year soon enough since everything begun, and now, my father is attacking my decisions at choosing to study art next year. He always tells me that art is for nothing useful. And it's not rare that I get beaten. Another weird thing is, he is watching my every step. Three cameras installed on the house, I know it is for watching me, not for house defense.

I ask myself this question over once more... Was this really worth it?