DID

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my alters are driving me insane, i wish i didn't have them, i never feel like my memories arent mine and what i do remember of my life i want to cry, because I'll never be able to experience the things i remember ever again. I miss my brother, i miss singing and writing songs (i still do both of those things) but its just not the same because its not how i remember. This sounds really stupid to people who don't understand DID, but im genuinely struggling. I feel miserable. I miss my friends so bad. I'll never see them again either, and if i do they wouldn't see me as their friend. Im so upset.

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Mom

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Things aren't going to change when i go home. My mom is still going to be the same bitter, cruel women shes always been. Im just glad her boyfriend isn't there anymore. They were terrible together. ( i mean them together, they Tourtued me mentally) i feel horrible the longer im around them.

I really don't want to go home.