I always feel like an odd one out

No matter who I am, who I'm with, or what I'm doing

I always feel like I don't belong

Not being queer, not liking the same things, not interacting with things the same

I feel like the spotlights on me constantly

And I feel like no one truly understands me as a person

As much as I wanna just be some cute boy with a peppy attitude that makes people happy,

It's not that 2 dimensional, and it never has been

The only person I feel partly understands is engie

And that's only partly

I'm not good enough

And being myself has lost me so much

So here I am

Crying nearly every day, with a shaky grasp on my identity, barely making through the days

Edit 1

This place used to be one of comfort, now its just distress

Why do you guys even defend me, I'm not worth the effort

Ik I'm in some of your dni lists, ik I'm not a good person

So why do you guys insist on keeping me around