i feel like im drifting away from my online friends nowadays and it sucks. i want to talk and stuff but it's been too long. last time i talked to them was a year ago, and what if they forgot about me, and im just not cool enough to talk with them anymore? idk, it just feels like i had something great, but now it's all gone. also, even in real life, friends are just so hard. i have to make a joke all the time, and it has to be funny. and if it's not, awkward silence. it's like one shit joke can decide the fate of my friendship. what sucks even more is that i'm the popular kid. you might be saying, "what? you're just being a little bitch baby.", but it's a lot of pressure to uphold this funny guy because i know this fame won't last. i'm destine to do something wrong and everything is going to fall on me. worst of all, the main reason im popular in the first place, one of my friends, is moving to a different school. i'll be a nobody again next year. everything just sucks. why does everything have to suck?

i guess it's not all bad. i should also appreciate all the good things happening right now, like how my art is improving a lot, which i can't wait to show off. another thing i want to show off is that i'm getting better at coding. i'm currently making a website builder so i can make a website for game jolt using a scratch htmlifyer, but instead of making it an html file, making it a .zip so i can upload it to the gamejolt website builder. i want to make more games and things like this to showcase the stuff i've been working on, partly to show other people that i'm not a nobody, but also to prove to myself that i'm not a nobody; that i can make something great. because i've recently noticed i have nothing to show for the cool things i've been figuring out how to do as of recent. but, since school's getting in the way, it's gonna be a while. peace and stuff