Lately I've been happy and I haven't got anything to complain about so I'm posting less. Also drawing more but not posting it here because I've lowkey quit gamejolt and I just come on here to yap atp.

Healing from all the abuse and trauma core <33 it's hard but honestly I feel better everyday. Love to all my friends, my sisters, and my amazing boyfriend for supporting me through it all !! Most importantly though, I'd like to recognize the biggest changing factor in my life, and it's been my change of heart and the turning of my focus back to the Lord. I've identified as an atheist for nearly 4 years? But as of maybe around 4-6 months ago I made the choice to turn around my lifestyle.

TW: Su'cide and mental health discussions

At first it was very difficult, I wasn't entirely sure how I was supposed to just change. I felt gross, dirty, ashamed. It was hard, I wanted to give up, but everytime I felt like I couldn't do it, someone would coincidentally call me up or send me a text saying they were praying for me, that I was on their mind. That helped me push forward until this July, when I attended a Christian summer camp with my cousins and chose to be baptized for the first time in my life.

Ever since then I've felt so free, and I feel like I truly have a purpose now. I had been fighting the emptiness for so long, I tried to fill it with relationships, p*rn, empty friendships, crystals, witchcraft- anything !! I just wanted something to work, I was at my most su*cidal then and felt everything was meaningless. I took the step to cut bad influences out of my life and to pray daily, and everything really did change. I'd always been skeptical, afraid to tell people I wanted to return to Christianity because I knew my friends would call me silly, but I've been blessed now with such a supportive circle, and everything has all worked out.

All this to say, I don't mean to preach at anyone who reads this, I respect different views and all are welcomed here, but all this to say for the first time in my life, I feel truly alive. Like more than just this husk wandering in search of happiness and meaning.

Sorry to make this so long. Kudos if you read it all lol