I saw one person worried about it, and a friend reached out concerned, so might aswell.

I almost wanted to shove those posts under the rug and pretend they didin't happend, cuz they weren't really mean't to be, it was an impulsive thing I did in the moment out of stress and frustration.

I was just kinda frustrated. So much crap goes on and I genuially sometimes really like to fantacize about ending it all, problematic fantacizing. Don't worry, I will never actually harm myself or do anything to myself, but I really sometimes wished I could.

What troubles me so much? Alot. You see, as much as I work in GMod and all, alot of the people within the comunity itself, people like me, they don't really like me, or accept me, some of them had betrayed me in ways that really hurt, some of them even stole my work, and still try to steal my identidy to this day, IN this platform.

All of that is already alot of weight. Another reasson is how I really sometimes want something I know it takes time, but waiting is really hard, I won't go into details as to what, since I think that should remain within my privacy.

I also generally don't have alot of hope for alot of my projects, genuially, 9/10 I struggle with getting any positive expectations out of my projects and sometimes my work just gets either whiped or just destroyed, it kinda makes me feel really stressed.

Overall, I hope everyone gets to enjoy life more then I do, because this genuially drains me, makes everything harder.