Been wanting to do this for a while, so might as well do it now. I watched the fnaf movie a while ago with my friend in discord. And I’m not gonna keep it hidden, the movie was pretty bad. Like, a 3/10 movie for me.

The biggest problem I had with the movie is how painfully slow and boring it is. A majority of the movie was an absolute slog to get through.

The human scenes, the pizzeria scenes where nothing happens, etc. And a big reason why isn’t just the lack of anything interesting happening, but also the acting. And this isn’t me ragging on the actors, cause I know they’ve been in good stuff and have acted good before. Here though, they sound super flat.

I understand why in Mike’s case because he’s depressed, but with Vanessa, she sounds like she just doesn’t want to be there.

On top of that, the movie is really not scary. The animatronics with their goofy orange eyes, the flying cupcake, etc. There are some good kills, but that’s the closest extent that the animatronics get to being scary.

There’s some stupid stuff in the movie, like with the animatronics having amnesia, and the only way for them to remember their killer is for Abby to draw a picture of William killing them as kids?

Mike’s dreams get REALLY monotonous and obnoxious as the film goes on, and the idea of him “dreaming the same dream every night” is kinda silly, though, I am willing to suspend my disbelief for that part. Vanessa as a character is super flat and boring, with one of her only purposes being to spout off plot to Mike and all that.

And while I understand why in many cases, it would’ve been nice if she was given more of a character.

There’s a time waster scene in the movie, the pillow fort scene. I’m not gonna rip that apart too much, as yeah, I guess I understand, it shows that the animatronics are kids and all that, but like, wouldn’t it have been better if we got more backstory with them aside from the mini game during the opening credits?

We already got a scene of the animatronics being friendly before, why did that need to be there? Why not do something impactful and show the kids back during the missing children’s incident?

You don’t even need to show child murder, you can simply just show William luring them or something. The plot with Mike, Abby, and their evil aunt or smth goes absolutely nowhere. It was somewhat interesting at first, as it gave Mike a reason to get a job and all that, but by the end, it was kinda worthless.

Speaking of the aunt, the fact that she dies in Mike’s house and Mike and Abby come back later, only for her not to ever be mentioned again, nor explained what happened to her is a plot hole. Sure, she could’ve lived, but if she did, you’d at least expect a small scene showing her walking out or something.

Then there’s Golden Freddy who is entirely plot based. He needed to be there to get Abby to the pizzeria, then the animatronic is gone for the rest of the movie.

His lack of screentime wasn’t even that big of a deal, it’s how he was used in that screen time that bothers me. That’s all the bad I have, now for the good.

Obviously, Matthew Lillard steals the show and is the best part of the movie as Afton, although him only having like three scenes is really dumb and it would’ve been better if they built him up.

Either way, his performance at the end is really good. The set and costume design is top notch, again, pretty obvious. Does a good job at capturing the feel of the first game, while introducing some new stuff in it.

Animatronics are top notch, as expected, even if their orange eyes look really stupid. The cameo appearances from Cory and Mat were pretty funny. And when it wasn’t being repeated over and over, Mike’s backstory is actually pretty tragic and you feel for the guy. And yeah, that’s about it.

I think I would’ve enjoyed the movie and hated it a lot less if the boring scenes were made interesting or hell, even fun bad, but neither thing happened. I will repeat this sentiment, I’d rather watch something entertainingly bad than something boring.

3/10