I'm really getting tired of this shit.

I mean seriously. I'm tired of acting nice all the time when I'm just ignored. I'm tired of asking NICELY for my siblings to just listen to me to stop using my shit without asking. I'm tired of trying to keep up this happy facade online and irl.

I'm gonna just be the villain I am on the inside. I'll start vaping more often because I'm tired of pretending like I'm fine.

I know you know that I'm suicidal and all and shit so this isn't much news for you. I mean fuck, I'll go back to cutting myself the moment I move out. I don't do it to cope, I do it because I can, because I'm bored, or just to entertain myself. One of these days I'll let me cousin's dog just fuck me- I mean he's humped me before and quite frankly, I just can't care anymore.

I'm already planning and preparing for taking shrooms and weeds. I mean hell, my aunt tried meth once. Shouldn't be that hard to get my hands on it when I'm literally handed a vape.