So basically, my phone just glitched out and turned off yesterday. Following this, there have been significant battery errors. So yesterday, I though I needed a new battery rather than a new phone...
But, since nothing's easy in this dump,

My opinion has been challenged.

I don't think I need a new battery. I charge my phone ALL DAMN NIGHT ON A HIGH-POWER CHARGER

And I go to the Android Fastboot Secure Flash Mode

And it reads Battery OK!

But I try to switch it on, and it shows the usual boot screen
FOR ABOUT FIVE SECONDS
then shit powers down. and to get it to do that again, I have to remove the battery then put it back in.

So the battery ain't the problem here. I'm now convinced it's the phone... But how? The phone fr hasn't had problems before!?

Soooo, lemme cut to the chase. I can still make art... the problem is
I CAN'T DAMN POST IT-
So you see, my phone is what I take pictures of my art then I post it. And all that told you the issue. Soooooo... Bye art for now... FOR NOW!!