with how I am at facing things (by not facing them), I never expected to get this dream so close to being reality, I never saw myself being able to take this step towards who I actually want to be

and yet, I did, and I still can't process it, it's surreal

my mind is trying to make me feel bad since a few days ago with this, like I don't deserve it, but honestly? I'll keep ignoring these thoughts, I've wanted this for so long and I don't wanna turn back now, doesn't matter what my brain is saying