To get out of the way first, did you guys know yesterday was the 4-YEAR ANNIVERSARY of my first publicly released project, The Banana Splits: Sloppy Nights? How time flies, huh? It only felt like a few weeks ago I only released Percy's! I remember nervously uploading the build all those years ago, and despite its poor aging, it gathered a very niche but supportive community at the time. If only I knew that later down the line 2 plush toys of my characters would be sold!...

But that's beside the point; to say this year hasn't been hell to live through quite literally- would be a genuine, truthful understatement. A lot has happened: Tons of torment, loss of friendships, and overwhelming, stressful situations piled one on top of the other, leading me here, to type this post right now. Nearly at the end of the year, no less.

To give some insight, I've always tried to live by a saying I have kept true to myself for a very long time:

"Everything happens for a reason."

However, this year alone has made me question this very moral; for one reason or another, I still cannot understand why some people did the things they did, either to me, my friends, or anyone else- with the only reason I ever got just "being because". It has driven me to the brink of madness so, so many times, and has lad to a serious plummet in terms of my mental health and relationships overall. And it is with all of this and more, that's nearly caused me (multiple times) to do things I can't say are my proudest moments, likewise wish I had never done nor should have even THOUGHT of doing in the first place.

So, I'm here today to express that I have (for a couple of months now) come to seriously regret having done such things; either out of my fears and desires or just as a bit to joke around with friends. I think it takes nobody to realize I've kind of been a huge selfish jerk on that forefront, and I deeply apologize to those I've hurt, scared, or annoyed because of such actions.

I was going to not comment on this, but to address it directly; any posts of this nature have been entirely taken down, and I do not plan to talk publicly about these kinds of things going forward. I'm doing this not only to continue the healing process (as recommended by the help I've been getting for a few months now), but mainly because keeping anything up in relations to such, would just be very immature of me to do outright.

Which kind of leads me to a very one-off point, but should be said anyway; there's a very weird stigma (for better or worse) surrounding me, and has collectively been the normal for my time here online. Either due to idiot actions I did as a child, or something I didn't think twice of now; it still exists, and this will be my attempt at trying to prove such actions false. I strive to make things people can enjoy, and I hate how some have been nullified of such simply because of my careless actions/imposing demeanor. I am hoping to slowly but surely continue to change this, and it is very intoxicating to me to see such happen because of what I said earlier.

So, a sort of final stand; I am offering myself to anyone who wishes to speak to me about anything to come forward and do so now. Either for their sake or my own, I would appreciate such actions be done as I simply wish to move on from behaviors I've done then and now. I always strive to be vocal about ongoing issues, and wish for peace above all else. I will keep trying to enforce this going forward.

That's all I wish to say. Like you; I am human, and I am very emotionally-driven for a lot of what I do, for better or worse. I simply wish to be the best version of myself I can be, and I regret having let my fears and anxieties having controlled me for so, so long and it being the result of losing very close friendships I had at the time. I do not expect an apology for such, but I think putting this post out would at least allow me to close this chapter and continue to keep moving forward with my life and my projects, as well as my friends.

Now, with all of this said; I refuse to end this post on a sour note. The post IS called "Thankfulness + Remorse" for a reason, you know?

So with that said- I want to take a minute on this day (and Thanksgiving, no less), to express my forever gratitude for those who have stuck by me throughout this year, helping me heal and allowing myself to get the aid I need to keep pushing forward.

There's too many to name here, but I would like to specifically thank @Aurdey , @kitifulnines , @amnotdonut , @martinarthur, @Vampymatsu , @SpaceWizardR , @ImSyren, @jaydotmp3, @PoisonousPastels , @SherbertClown , @SqueaksDCorgeh , @hysteridungeon , @Sunset64 , @SherryZMax , @-TightSocks-, @Voidof_Mask_ , @TheOneWithDoggo , @RustyRed , @Binkoothepopper , and the entire Faziecord Discord Server for just helping me stay a little more sane and maintain a flow of happiness throughout this year alone. It really, truly, means a lot to me. Thank you.

To end this off, and to give a little life update: I'm fine! At least now, and I plan to go full throttle on the PTwP Steam Release early next year- I currently have a 15-paged planned document of the entire plan/contents for the release, and It's quickly growing into something new and old fans of the game will deeply enjoy I feel.

Thank you again for that, and as well as reading this! I swear this will be the only yap I'll likely pull out, since typing this stuff in it of itself is very, very exhausting for me. But you know how it is, haha.

Until we meet again- take care everyone! And thank you again.