WARNING: This might be the longest post I'll ever make here. If you're gonna read this, I'd recommend some snacks. Also, spoily spoily bullsh!t. Yeah, I can fncking fake swear. I mean, it's Ramadaan, but a fake swear is a fake swear.

So, if you couldn't tell, I love TWD series. I mean, I didn't play these growing up, as the first game came out when I was...five, and I...still shouldn't probably be playing it, but it's a great series. If only people...actually talked about it. I mean, some people do, but for the most part, there's a higher chance that you'll get struck by lighting 7 times and survive. So today, I will be making review of the 4 Walking dead games...excluding Michonne. I'll say Michonne is decent, but I don't read the comics, so I don't know anything about her and feel no emotional connection to her and the crew.

Well, let's get on with this Schaffrillas knock-off.

Part 1-1: Walking with corpses, the first - Episode 1

So, the first game is really good. I mean, duh, why do you think I'm making this review that maybe 3 people will see? But the first thing to say is that I was shocked at how gruesome this game was, and it's rated for 18+. Telltale, you gave us a really good first impression to this series. But I kinda need to go into the story, so...here's the story. I'll try to make it as serious as possible.

Plot 1-1:

So, it starts off with an introduction to our protagnist, Lee Everett, getting sent to prison. What a likeable first impression...except this is a likeable first impression. You'd think Lee would be an unlikeable dick, but he actually seems remorseful, and the tid-bits we learn of his backstory make you sympathize with him. So the Driver becomes an idiot and runs into a corpse...that w a l k s . Who woulda fncking thought?

Anyways, you get derailed and the Police officer/Driver dies off-screen while screaming like a banshee. Lee wakes up and realizes his leg bones have almost been sent to the shadow-realm. He gets out the car and tries to get his cuffs off. Weirdly enough, the scene where Lee gets his cuffs off kinda implies that Lee knows that the corpse that currently doesn't walk will bite him, but it's probably because no one wants to get near someone's rotting teeth. Anyway, the Police corpse starts crawling, (wait-) and Lee finds a conveniently placed Shotgun with a slightly less conveniently placed bullet, and murders the corpse. He finds a girl in the woods named Clementine, and later gets saved by the 8-year old because her baby-sitter decided to give up on walking, and then the baby-sitters body said: "Fine. I'll do it myself." So you have a choice to leave at night-time or day-time. You meet up with either 2 farm boys, or one farm boy and a police officer. You get out of there and go to a farm. Who woulda fncking thought? You get Lee's leg patched up, and then go to bed.

The next day, you meet one of my favorite characters in the series, named Kenny. You also meet his family, but that won't matter for about 2 minutes. For context though, Kenny's wife is named Katjaa, and Ken's son is named Kenny jr, but he's called Duck for short. Now, you may ask: "Dodging or quacking?" and I will say to that: "Quacking." Anyway, one of the farmer boys gets his leg stuck under a tractor, that was operated by Duck. (THAT LITTLE SON OF A- Oh no wait, gotta respect the dead.) No matter what, farmer dude dies, because Kenny has a character flaw, where he can talk sh!t, but he's a coward.

Anyway, Farmer boy dies, you leave the farm with Kenny's family, and you end up in Macon, specifically by a drugstore that Lee's family used to own. Anyway, Lee and the rest of the chipmunks get ambushed by more walking corpses, (Who. Woulda. Fncking. Thought?!), but they get saved by some random characters, including Glenn, who's apparently from the comics. I haven't read the comics, as mentioned before, but I really like Glenn here. Wish he had his own game. Anyway, you go inside the drugstore, where there's the characters of Doug, Carley, Glenn, Lily, and her father, Larry, who thinks that Duck was bitten. (Spoiler: No, he wasn't bitten in this episode. Larry's just a prick.) Then Larry has a heart attack, as he ran out of cocaine. You do your best to get the cocaine from your parents room, but then Glenn calls, as he was trying to get fuel for everyone. It turns out he needs some help.

So you and Carley start going the streets to get Glenn. You find him at a motel, but he heard a screaming girl and wanted to save her. That's a good reason to get your friends killed, saving women. I often say to my friends: "Sorry mates, I'm saving WOMEN, and totally not stealing Memeulous jokes." Anyways, you go into a puzzle sequence that is a bit tricky to figure out, but it's pretty easy to do once you have it down. Anyway, the girl you tried to save turns out to be bit, because the walkers are literally zombies.

(Also, quick side note: Is it Walkers, or Zombies? For 95% of the franchise, the games call them walkers, but in the first game, during the "Look-at", and "Kill", options, they call them Zombies. Hell, they call them Zombies during the first episode at one point! WHICH ONE IS IT, TELLTALE?! WHICH ONE?!)

Anyways, you can either let the girl commit suicide or she still commits suicide. I know, a hard choice. You go back home with an axe that you lose in episode two, because you can't have nice things. You get the cocaine for Larry, and an alarm goes off, alerting the walkers. There's a scene of one walker going to get the cocaine, (Which I'm 90% sure was Lee's mom), which then goes to a scene of the place getting about as overrun as a bunch of cringe gacha kids seeing someone criticize their bullsh!t. You get a major choice between saving 2 characters. Carly, the person who's good with a gun, but can't realize when she puts batteries in the wrong way, or Doug, the tech one, but he's a dough boy. There's nothing that specifically says he's bad with guns, but still. Anyways, after someone gets mirked, Larry, being the unlikeable dickhead he is, decides to try and murder Lee. Kenny saves you though, as he isn't a feminine dog. Anyway, you go back to that motel where that girl, named...Irene, (I think?), committed suicide. You and the group decide to stay there, with Glenn leaving to find his friends in Atlanta.

So THAT was TWD1, episode 1. Overall, it was great! I loved it. If you're considering trying the game, the first episode is free, so you can actually get a sense of what this game is, as I still included jokes there. And yes, I'm aware that this whole text thing was...badly structured. I haven't made something this long before, but I should get the hang of it soon.

Now, you may be asking: where's everything else? Well I realized: This took forever, and I was just describing the first episode, so I will simply update this daily explaining the remaining episodes. I mean, how long can it REALLY take? *nervous laughter*

Anyways, thank you for coming to my TED-talk.