I don't know, why I even decided to say these things out loud here.
Is it always hard to break connections between people?
It hits hard as heck, especially when you promised to hold them together.
But you as well have problems you need to deal with... Alone.
And after 6 months of everyday communication, near the end, everything starts to feel miserable.
You can't help them anymore like you always do. You can't have feelings with them like you always do.
And they can't do anything about themselves as well.
They have someone around them besides you.
And, is it your fault if you don't have any feelings or positive emotions towards them? Promising earlier that they don't have to be alone in their thoughts anymore.
But, you just got withered with them because the way they behave.
I just... It feels like it's my fault and I could have done much more than I've already did.
I never wanted to lose them because of these stupid emotions and mental instability. I tried my best.
And I was the best for them, but... Still not good enough.
They wanted to keep things the way they are, but it's the route for a dead end. And I don't want a dead end. Nobody wants a dead end.
But they just don't understand... or don't want to understand.
I don't know.
I already said to them that I don't want to continue our communication like that.
And it's hard to realize, that you can't do anything about it, except just turn around and leave or keep everything 'till a dead end, just to try and enjoy something.
They got used to your emotion support, but they can't give anything like that back to you. Much worse, sometimes they give reasons to argue.
I want to get back and say sorry. Try to maintain again this emotional support. But, I also understand, that it'll lead to nothing.
I promised them... but, I don't know if it's my fault that my promise and hope for them got ruined by their actions, which they didn't have control on... because of their mental instability they didn't want to fix at all.
I'm sorry for this post, I'll definitely remove it in the future. But, I just need this. For some reason here, I'm not afraid of the judgement.
peace