here is a video of what the article says

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i have found the "lord cockswain novelty mutton chops and pipes

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look who's rich, not me

I AM NOT A MORON

*sneff*

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Happy Valentine’s Day! @OperaGX dropped the Valentine’s-inspired game Maximum Load. Guide PC Man through a satisfying install. 🥵

2 quests celebrating the game have entered your log! Play #MaximumLoad here: https://bit.ly/maximumload

the all mighty companion cube