I'm tired 

I'm so tired. 

I'm tired of being stereotyped, sexualized, yelled at, left, blamed, hurt, threatened, etcetera. I've been told, "Make me a sandwich," "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" and multiple other things. And I get told very sexual things and that people want to do things to me. (I won't elaborate on this because it makes me uncomfortable.) I miss so many people who have hurt me, and maybe I deserved to be hurt like that, but I can't go on anymore. I just want to leave this world; it'd be better that way anyway. It's not like people care about me; nobody would miss me. I'm useless anyway, and if they somehow do, they just shouldn't. I'm a waste of time. 

(This part is aimed.) 

It's not possible for someone to care about me because if someone really cared about how I feel, they wouldn't threaten me with killing themselves in front of me just so I would stay with them. I don't like that, and don't get me wrong. I care about my friends; I truly do, but I don't like having the thought that the reason they self-harm is because of me.

And I do self-harm, even if it's not cutting, but starving, hitting, skin picking, hair pulling, and biting still count. And things affect me really badly, like today when my friend told me to kill myself, but I'm not sure if they were joking or not. Even if they were, it still makes me want to do it.

I hate everything. I hate my anxiety, my life, eating, sleeping, and breathing. I just simply don't want to be here anymore. I don't like venting, but when I finally do, I get ignored by the people I call my friends.