It's all too quiet..... I can only hear my thoughts.... My thoughts are too loud.... They're screaming.... They want me to cut myself or kill myself or do something that will end my suffering because I can't take this anymore

Why do I have to be such a disappointment? Why do I have to take a break? Why can't I just slap a smile on my face and pretend I'm happy? Why can't I play my part? Why can't I just be stable? Why do I feel this way? Why do I hate myself? Why? Why!?! Why!?!?! WHY!?!?!

WHY AM I HERE!?! Why am I here when my life is just gonna throw me through more and more bullshit? Deeper and deeper until I cave? Till I slit my throat

Why, just WHY!?! WHY AM I SUCH A FUCKING MISTAKE!?!? WHY DO I ALWAYS SCREW UP!?!

I just....

I don't want this, I need a break, I need SOMETHING to make me feel again....

Why am I such a fucking psychopathic bitch?

I just want to be normal....

But I can't.... Because THEY won't let me be normal.... THEY never got me any help....

I just.....

Can't....

I'm being stalked, I'm turning 18 soon, my friends don't even understand where I'm coming from about this...

No one does... They don't understand the things I think.... Why would they? I've never explained it....

I want to be better....

But how....

When I can't be after I've dug my hole so deep already?