(shoutout to whoever gets the ericdoa reference from the image)
All joke posts aside, I've been wanting to make a post regarding my mental health for a long time now. I've been going through quite a lot of mental anguish throughout 2023-now; and I started questioning my emotions just a few months ago.

I always thought what I was feeling was normal and that it's just emotions any other human would feel, but it started getting worse, and worse by the day.

My paranoia started drastically increasing, my behavior was getting more aggressive, started self-reflecting really often, my mood was constantly down; even worse when I was genuinely upset at something/someone, developed extreme issues with sleeping due to negative thoughts roaming around my head, started skipping school (as of writing, I haven't attended school in a month), huge amounts of demotivation (as to why my projects have been either cancelled or taking long to release) and even more.

I knew there was something wrong with me, and I think I finally landed my finger on what the issue was. After one good talk with a close friend of mine, and with my family; we had reason to believe I was suffering from depression/MDD.

The symptoms lined up with what I was going through, one of my parents (who was also diagnosed with depression) recommended that I started going to therapy. I agreed to do so, I've been wanting to go therapy for a long, long time but I was too afraid to ask beforehand due to financial issues and generally just being hesitant about opening up about my issues to my family.

As of writing, I have attended 2 therapy sessions so far; and I'm happy to say that things are going through the right direction. I'm comfortable with my therapist and I hope things get better from here on.

Depression has made things pretty difficult for me, sometimes even things like getting out of bed is hard for me to do. Not to mention its made working on my projects really difficult due to making me lose all motivation, also made me isolate myself a lot, caused me tons of anxiety (as well as social anxiety) and made me lose some really great people throughout my life.

The lead of my depression is most likely linked to my childhood trauma, presence in toxic spaces and countless amounts of drama.

My childhood trauma is something I don't wanna get into at all, this post is already very personal and I don't wanna go way past the border. All I'll say they're things no 7-10 year old should go through, at all. I just wish my family monitored me and my online activity better.

My presence in drama is just the amount of unnecessary drama I've been included in, fighting with people back and forth, lies being thrown around, losing friends, people being hurt. All of it was just so, mentally draining; just for all of it to be done for nothing. It genuinely wasn't worth the trouble at all, and I really wish I knew that beforehand.

My presence in toxic spaces has been an issue for several years, and I've only done something about it just recently. Throughout most of 2024, I had my own personal friend + development discord server where I would usually hangout, play games and whatnot. I enjoyed hanging out there for sure, but that feeling slowly started fading away once I realized how much of a toxic place it was starting to become. So toxic to the point where it was genuinely affecting my behavior and health really, really badly.

Upsetting those around me, straight up harassing people, borderline immoral language and disguising my toxicity as a "joke." It was genuinely horrible, and it got so bad that I hurt someone that was really, really close to me. Someone I heavily trusted and meant a lot to me, I felt horrible once I was told.

This was a sign that I seriously needed to stop, I seriously needed to change how things were going. From then on, I stopped running away from my problems, I stopped hiding who I really was, I wanted to change.

So I changed my name, and left my past behind me. I didn't want to associate with who I used to be, because it never felt like me in the first place.

I was so scared of people judging who I really am, I just masked my personality to please others so I wouldn't be left out. But now I just can't bother to care anymore, I wanna be who I really am.

I changed my name because the name "Glitchy" has generally just left such a bad taste in my mouth, the amount of bad shit I've done under that name it.. just doesn't feel like me anymore. So I just decided that I didn't wanna associate with him anymore.

After so long of wanting to change who I am, I feel like I'm really gonna manage to do so this time, I've already taken on what I view as big steps (therapy, name change, true personality) and I'm gonna try my best to keep things on the right track.

On a short note, I will be taking an indefinite break once my biggest project Five Albums at Weezers releases. I feel like I could really use this break to focus on myself, my friends and my family.

If it takes too long to release, I'll have to bite the bullet and take the break mid-development.

I'll also generally just be posting much more infrequently, meaning no joke posts or anything like that at all. I'll only be posting art and game updates from now on.

That's all I had to really say, I wanna dedicate this part to all the people that have helped me throughout these difficult times.

@BubyGamer11 , @Aurdey , @-TightSocks- , @FazieFunbear , @Radical_Rendy , @ower396 , @DragonLion , @Mlemhare , Leafy, @jnity , @maximillionanim , @martinarthur , @Voidof_Mask_ , @lewismatson , @MWaves , @danoodle , @Otis_Le_PoOtis , @pastgomthesecond , @Jacorn , @LucinaSantiago , @ponyoderso , @Rhadamus , @ihave2iq , @Spongi_124 , @Spookyfellow , @WoofInationXP , @ToonsterGames95 , @Wester , @ChronicAlcoholic and @Sunset64 .

I could not have gone through 2022-2025 without you guys, thank you so much. I hope this can serve as a great message to not only to the people who enjoy my work, but also to my friends that I hold so dearly to my heart.

peace and love