recently, ive had beef with people who keep bringing my past and things i am not proud of doing. i did resolve it with them and now we are in good terms, however, theres this feeling that keeps torturing me that makes me feel like i am not good enough or worth the friendships i have. Probably i dont really deserve you guys, probably i am just overreacting, but i got to admit that i am not the best, nor a saint. i am far away from being a saint. however, i want people to be aware that i am not trying to harm people on porpuse at all, its all just poor wisdom and terrible execution of my thoughts. Again, if i hurt you, im sorry, genuinely. i am trying my best at it, i might not be good at it, at heart, i am a pretty sensitive person. These situtations raise anxiety on me, and of course, the thoughts of me not deserving the position of being a game developer and having a community to entertain. I am often somewhat scared to open a notification in my phone or pc, hoping its not someone bringing up a mistake i did a couple years ago. I hope you can understand that this does deeply sadden me, and that i am not looking for people to praise me or idolatrize me at all, i just want to make games for the sake of having fun while i still can, because probably soon or later i will not be able to.