this is the first and last time I write a post like this, becuase I'm pretty scared to write this but I want to off load how I've felt for the past year and how for me, 2025 really sucked. One of my best friends who I've been close to a lot of my life passed away a couple months ago which really fucked me up. During that time I had that break I was very sick. I had a whole big video planned talking about my future games but I felt it was stupid like a lot of things I make, working on that dumb fucking GENESIS game hasn't helped I've tried to start and restart development a lot of times but I always end up fucking something up and starting over. Most of the time when I think about my games it always loops back to the feeling of being a failure who is to stupid work on games and how I should not return publicly because my game would be hated by everyone or just I wouldn't even know, I would end up completly on my own. I get that I don't do myself any favours lashing out at random people online and offline but asides from my friends who I barely see becuase they moved that would be that's just the only way I would I don't what right word is to describe it but I'm just sick of being to afraid and paranoid to do anything right asides from projecting and wanting people to feel the same way I did. I'm expecting sympathy points from anyone wanting to hear me. I hope it this didn't come off that way I don't know why but I think that maybe I can close this hole in my chest that I've been keeping to myself for however long I was off game jolt for or whatever.