i hate myself
this drama and everything that happened after it was just a fucking hellhole of depression and nothing but pure hatred against me
why did it have to be me? do i not deserve to fucking live? did i make her kill herself? did i encourage a suicide?
i just wanna forget what i had done
i didnt mean to do it
i didnt mean to lash out on her, ruin her and be an abusive whore
i wasnt considering whether the act i was doing was a good or bad idea
i was just being a dumbass and didnt have some self thought
i dont believe that anyone, not even me, deserves this fucked up abuse
i know, they deleted the posts
i know, everyone moved on
i know, i became better
i KNOW, there are people supporting me
but it still HURTS
it ruined me as a person
not to mention i feel terrible irl, wouldnt wanna talk about because its really sensitive to me
in conclusion, i just feel like shit and i dont deserve this abuse
to the people who noticed my odd behavior, im sorry if you were scared of me
im okay, no need to worry about me too much
ill try to forget about it and have some self-improvement
i luv all of you sm