Im honestly not sure why i continue anymore, ive lost practically the only thing that kept me going. i feel empty absolutely nothing in my body

no matter how hard i fight to ignore these thoughts in my head they continue over and over again in a constant loop

the friends ive made, the friends ive lost. the continuous loop of making friends then they lash out at me for no reason or start ignoring me no matter how hard i try to stay in contact with people. i end up loosing it eventually.

if we live and then die why do we still exist isnt it better if we just end it as soon as we start having these thoughts, stop wasting oxygen for everyone else.

us as humans, everyday we are ruining this world slowly.
cutting down trees our only source of naturally made oxygen,
digging the earth for minerals that honestly we dont even need, creating things that doesnt even need to exist for what? to make our lives easier? its still ruining peoples jobs peoples lives

i go on walks everyday, walking down the street people hugging holding hands, and i just want to fucking break down right in the middle of the street because of it.

people talk about not wanting to go to hell but we're already in it.

rich feed on the poor, they dont even help people who need it
and as i quote fallout here, "war never changes". we are constantly at war for Pathetic reasons

"oh we want this land! give it or we'll take it from you!"
"he said bad things about me remove them from this world"

how long are we going to last, especially when all this stuff is happening really.
we shouldn't be putting people in charge of countries especially when they wanna act like children.

i miss her

my final part of this post at least for today.

"I dont want to be awake. this voice buried in my head driving me insane. being hung by a noose made out of hallowed thread. antithesis of restraint if god exists then someday he'll come down for vengeance. he created this hell and he'll come down to purge it one day. as i sit in my chair writing this, ill be waiting till heaven comes to fight" - Nova