Ive seen the inside of humans, i can tell you in detail that the fat is white and yellow, that its formed in a bubble like pattern, and that its easy to rip out, ive seen how easy it is and how many people cut themselves and others open, ive seen a bullet go through someones head and split their face in two, ive seen cats being cut in half and tourtered, ive seen dogs being raped and cut up, ive seen dead people being abused and mutalatied, ive seen live caniblism, ive seen people being flayed and cut like peices of meat, ive seen the way blood flows from a wound, ive seen the ways that the skin seperates slowly from the muscle and bone, ive seen multiple suicides, ive seen people cut their arms to the bone with one slice, ive seen exacutions, ive seen people being burned alive how the flesh slowly melts and when it gets to the bone of the skull... your still alive eyes buldging out due to no skin or musccle, ive seen shootings, ive seen children getting killed, ive seen it all... ive been abused online by people i wont name, i didnt do anything becuase i just wanted to feel okay, get that hit of dopamine becuase of how bad my porn addiction was, ive been told things and have done things online that would make anyone gasp in shock, i used to scratch my arms till i bled, i saw the way it healed, id pick it off and just let it bleed, ive engaged in so much sexual activity online that i have people who are pissed at me still for what ive done (activly working on trying to apoplogize to the one who wont try and kill me) ive been manipulated in ways i still dont exactly know and i only know via other people that both kept me afloat and protected me, i was forced in and out of relationships without even knowing it was forced, ive tried to kill myself alot but only one of those times i thought it would actualy work, i took over 400-500 pills a mix of blood preasure meds, anxiety meds, a sleep med, and tylenol i dont know how i am still alive, that shouldve killed me, ive seen peoples skull getting smashed in, ive seen humans being run over by trains, ive seen more then the human mind is ment to see, and im doing better then most would, but i keep failing, and im scared i wont ever "fully" heal...