I don't necessarily hate my life, but I hate myself.

I hate how I can't really communicate with people I care about.

I hate how I always rely on men older than me considering my father left me at a really young age and has never been constant in my life.

I hate how I'm easy to judge people,

I hate how I'm easy to upset,

I hate how sensitive I am,

I hate my trauma,

I hate my body,

I hate my acne,

I hate my laziness,

I hate my lack of motivation,

Just everything.

Hell; sometimes I hate myself for just being myself.

I get called a whore and a faggot on a daily basis, all because I can't seem to find a relationship and keep it. And that's what I hate. Sure, I'm Bisexual. But being called a Faggot hurts. For once I actually feel genuinely wanted and loved, long distance or not. I don't care if Erin is female. I wouldn't care if she was a male. I fell for her because I liked her for HER. Not just because I'm gay.

I hate how I was raised in such a cruel part of earth. Guns, abuse, drugs, shootings, stealing, rape, kidnapping; everything is just normal in America at this point. It fucking sucks. I hate it. I wish I wasn't raised here. Sure, America has pretty places, but just get into the heart of America. It's not what you expect. It's terrible. Cruel.

This is why I'm leaving America when I'm 18. I'm getting a passport and either going to the UK or Germany, since I've always wanted to go to both places.