these past few months haven't been good for me

art blocks, music blocks, story blocks and more

daily stress of trying to make good stuff for you to see

daily stress of trying to make it perfect

and i'm honestly tired of it

only today, i was able to relax

i've never taken a break since i began this "journey" to try to reach my dreams

but slowly, i kinda started to realize that

i'm not sure if i want to do that anymore

the thing is, i'm growing up, and i'm changing

im losing interest on making art, as we can see since i draw atleast once a month

and i always get stressed when i make music, and it never comes out the way i want it

not because it's bad, but because i don't want it at all

streaming's a cool hobby, and i'll probably do it once and a while, but not every weekend anymore

i'll atleast try to do a stream once a month

but absolutely no promises, because it's really stressful for me

but back to the point

all of this is not what i want anymore

i don't want to write lore for a character

i don't want to have to draw stuff for that character

i want to live as it goes on, and not live chasing a dream that might happen, but wouldn't make me happy

yes i am quitting art, music and well, fear

not entirely, because i have to think more about this decision

so until i have my conclusion, everything will be stopped/set aside

that conclusion may happen tomorrow, that conclusion may happen next month, or it may never happen

i don't want to stress thinking about it, i want to genuenly feel like it's something i WANT to do again

not something i HAVE to do

but why do i feel like this?

why do i suddenly feel like quitting everything?

because as i mentioned before, i'm growing up and realizing that's not all what life has to give to me

i can't be stuck stressing myself over making things to entertain you, to MAYBE have a chance to live a happy life when i'm recognized for my work

i want to live what life has to give to me

i have someone i love a lot (faith) which i want to spend more time with

i have my friends, i'm getting a job soon and i'm turning 18 in 3 years

these dreams have been with me since my childhood, but chasing them isn't making me happy

so with this, i can confidently tell you

i quit.

i'll still be streaming, because it's a dream that i've also always had, and now i achieved it

i don't really care if i don't have a fanbse

i don't care if my streams have 6 viewers

i only care about if i'm having fun

and drawing, composing and breaking my head over fear's lore isn't fun

so those things, let's say ill keep them in a "box", and i'll lock that box until i'm actually on my feet perfectly to deal with what's inside it

hope you understand it

and sorry if this text is a little confusing because i'm really bad with putting words together, so feel free to ask anything you want related to my decision of quitting.