(CONTENT WARNING: Self-Harm, Mentions of Abuse, Death/Grief)

I've had a very tumultuous summer.

After uncovering some trauma about my father's psychological abuse and having a small bout with self-harm (which I'm doing much better with don't worry y'all) I've had lots of time to reflect on who I am and who I want to be.

I matured a hell of a lot and my future will no doubt be better for it. I am much calmer, more psychological and just overall more confident in both myself and my abilities.

I've thought a lot about death and what it brings, especially after the passing of my grandpa this year's February after a neck injury that he fought with all his will for months. Going from seeing him travelling the world every-other-day, to stuck on a wheelchair, to bed-bound, and to a catatonic state where he could barely even open his eyes was something I'll never forget. And I'll never forget him...

But on lighter news, I've also started to finally feel the joy of creating again. That spark that I had when I was 13 and making little fangames on my old Scratch account. Craving to draw, make music, design, write stories it's electrifying! I firmly believe in creativity being one of the best things humanity has, a manner of communication that, while radically different can still be understandable by all.

I hope you guys had a great summer too, and remember that the people around you deserve love and you deserve love from them.

Take care, I love you guys (platonically and non parasocially)

-Nicola 'Ludicrous Leafy'