Because to think there are many ways and methods to formulare a coherent thought, thats why blaming yourself is 'easy' to think, because it doesnt require any questioning, its something as organic as just knowing math formulas. You keep repeting them until you remember them word by word, but they arent true, they arent because theyre not the person you are, the person you become, you only say that it is because you tell yourself the lie that it is something valid, but its not even close, because if we think about this self blaming voice as a person, what kind of brainless person can tell you what you are and what you aren't? You are a person, with family, friends, you have your own battles, and to fight them shows your strenght, to be here shows your worth, because not everyone is able to tolerate this constant suffering that is life, but even if you dont see the beauty in the small things, you are still here, perhaps because of the fear of dying, but to die is to be nothing literally, is to not have consciense of your own existense, to not feel, and therefore not have peace. The thought of ending it all to have peace is an illusion, because only us, humans, can feel. Its like thinking a dog sees the same color of the sky as me, but its not true.

From the start of it all, on the sperm Race, there could have been things in your DNA structure that would affect you for life, or something that took your life even earlier, but yet, you were born the way you are, and you are still alive. Cant you see the miracle, the blessing, the grace, the worth this gives your life? Because even without knowing, you have pratically won against the odds, against death. Dont let this voice consume you, keep fighting it, questioning it, cause this is not a dictatorship where a venomous voice can set what you are without any questioning, you have the Power, the strenght to win against the voices, because if you got this far in life, this is just another obstacle youll need to find your way out of.

If you need help getting messages down your throat, i suggest you to repeat these words, these affirmations to yourself, once, twice, how many times you need, a day;

"I am loved, i deserve this love", and its, you deserve this love, because love isnt something we buy and are in some kinda of debt, some kind of thing you fight to deserve, love is something we give because its a strong feeling, one we cannot simply say in words or actions, they only represent a small percentage of the entidety of the feeling, because love's an ocean we drown and drink from, its something we simply give, something that simply happens, and that is the best definition of loving. Its something that happens, without any right or wrong, ifs just our way of showing affection, of showing care, amd it changes and varies with each person, so dont even ask yourself if people love you, because they do, but the way they show it is just... Different, it may not be intense, or too obvious, but they do love you.