The Very Grandest Text Adventure

Tell me, resident of the planet Earth, have you ever wanted to enjoy yourself in a world without the struggles of real life? Taxes, job, and any other basic necessities of being financially and mentally stable? Have you ever dreamed of a world where there are social justice dogs going around and thinking you're oppressing them if you call them cute? hAVe yoU eVeR drEAmT oF goInG tO tHe vOiD? Have you ever wanted to chicken wrap to avoid a rabid raccoon? WELL LOOK NO FURTHER, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! THERE'S A NEW TEXT ADVENTURE IN TOWN! With brand new, high tech technology, that can enable you to go back to the start of the game after you die! It has multiple endings, none of which are concrete nor are technically endings! And, best of all, it has a lazy developer who never does anything, despite being bored all the time! So, my good sirs and fine madams, just hit that download button and play THE VERY GRANDEST TEXT ADVENTURE, and all of your wildest dreams will come true! Disclaimer: Wildest dreams come true on a 46% rate. Do not take The very grandest text adventure if you have any history of butthurtness, easily offendedness, and radicalized feminism. Some side effects may include rapid vomiting of rainbows, heart attacks from how amazing it is, and blood diarrhea. Please consult your developer if your wildest dreams do not come true within 30 days.
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