Yggdrasil

So? Where is the beta of the complete visual novel?

Hey your game looks great! The art style is definitely nice on the eyes. I was wondering if you needed any helping hands with writing? :D I write short stories and have attempted novels before. I love writing romance/non-fiction so I think I'd be able to help you out :)

If you want to read a sample of my work I have a story online you can read titled "A Hole in the Sky" http://www.wattpad.com/story/27378040-a-hole-in-the-sky

I look forward to hearing back from you! :D You can contact me through email; [email protected] or Skype; ScaryKillerN .

I think the storyline goes too quickly. You dont even get a feel of the character before he goes into a coma.
I'm also confused as to who the main character is, at first I thought it was the guy, but then it turns out its the girl?

Sometimes its not clear whats going on, I have no idea at the start why she thinks im a pervert?
For example, in the earthquake, you could make the camera shake, and that would make it clearer.

Also, you're not giving the player any kind of options or control. So its just a story. Maybe you could add choices for the character to make:
"1. Go after her"
"2. Sit down and have breakfast"

Hope that helps! Great work, keep it up!