The band mayhem was created in 1984 by Euronymous. From 2 years after the band was made they had to replace 2 members and In 1988 the positions were filled by Swedish vocalist Pelle Yngve Ohlin ("Dead") and local drummer Jan Axel Blomberg ("Hell hammer"). With Dead, the bands concerts became notorious. For concerts, Dead went to great lengths to achieve the image and atmosphere he wished. From the beginning of his career Dead would be the first black metal musician to use corpse paint, which is black and white face paint, he didn't wear the corpse paint to look like he was from KISS or Alice Cooper and he didn't wear it to look cool, he wore the corpse paint because he wanted to look like an actual corpse. To complete Dead's corpse look he would bury his clothes he wore at concerts and before a concert dig them up and wear them. While preforming, Dead would often cut parts of his body using knifes and broken glass. Additionally, the band often had pig or sheep heads impaled on stakes and planted at the front of their stage. One of the band members Varg Vikenes claims that Dead once stabbed Euronymous with a knife. On April 8th 1991, Dead committed suicide in the house that band had rented. He had been in the house all alone and used a hunting knife to cut his arms and throat open before he sat down and wrote a note then shot himself with a shotgun in the head. Dead's note he left started with the sentence "Excuse all the blood" and included a brief explanation "nobody will ever understand this, but as a sort of explanation, I am not human, this is only a dream and soon I will awake". Attached to the note we're the lyrics of the song Life Eternal. Euronymous was the first to find his body and when he did he went to a nearby store and bought a disposable camera to photograph the corpse, after re-arranging some items. Euronymous used Dead's suicide to foster Mayhem's 'evil' image and claimed Dead had killed himself because black metal had become 'trendy' and commercialized. In time rumors spread the Euronymous had made a stew with bits of Dead's brain and had made necklaces with bits of his skull. Later the band denied the former rumor, but confirmed the latter was true.

In late 1992, the recording of Mayhem's upcoming album resumed; thus Aarseth engaged three more session musicians: Burzum's Varg Vikenes (stage name "Count Gridhnsckh"), Throns' Snorre W. Ruch ("Blackthorn"), who handled bass guitar and rythem guitar respectively, and singer Attila Csihar, of Hungarian black metal band Tormentor. Euronymous and Vikenes had conspired to blow up Nidaros Cathedral, which appears on an album cover. Euronymous's murder in August 1993 put an end to this plan and delayed the album's release. On August 10 1993, Vikenes murdered Euronymous. On that night, Vikenes and Ruch travelled 518 km from Bergen to Euronymous' apartment in Oslo. Upon their arrival, a confrontation ensued, which ended when Vikenes fatality stabbed Euronymous. His body was found outside his apartment with twenty-three cut wounds - two in the head, five in the neck and sixteen in the back. Vikenes claims the Euronymous had plotted to torture him to death and videotape the event, usong a meeting about an unsigned contract as a pretext.

This isn't the full story but if you ever have thoughts about suicide or self harm contact the suicide prevention hotline it helped me get through a time in my life when I was in a dark place.

Call:988