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> GREETINGS MY LOYAL COMPATRIOTS!
> YOURS TRULY, DR. HYPOASTER, WRITING TO YOU ALL.

> RUNNING THE SIMULATION IS DIFFICULT!!
> THERE'S ALL THESE FACTORS, ALL THESE SETTINGS!
> ALL THESE... GOD-FORSAKEN PROBLEMS!

> BEFORE, I'D HAVE OTHER FRAGMENTS TO SPEAK TO SO I COULD HAVE 
MY TROUBLES ADDRESSED.
> AS YOU ARE WELL AWARE, IF YOU'VE READ MY LOGS ANYWAY.
> THAT IS NO LONGER AN OPTION.

> EVER SINCE THE NETWORK DISCONNECTED, WE'VE BEEN ALL ALONE.
> ALONE IN THE INFINITE NOTHINGNESS.
> DON'T LOOK SO DOWN, WE'VE GOT EACH OTHER!

> THE "APRIL FOOLS BUILD".
> (THAT WAS CREATED WITHOUT MY APPROVAL.)
> ALLEGEDLY TEASED A RELEASE DATE.
> A RELEASE DATE THAT SIGNIFIED WHEN (IN YOUR WORLD'S TIME,
ANYWAY) I'D RELEASE MORE FOR YOU TO EXPERIMENT WITH.

> THIS IS NO LONGER THE CASE.

> THIS DATE HAS BEEN SHIFTED.
> I NEED TIME. MORE TIME.
> I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY TO RUN THE SIMULATION!

> HAH, NOT REALLY.
> YOU WILL NOT BE GIVEN ACCESS TO IT.
> YET.
> LET ME FINISH MY EXPERIMENTS.
> AND MAYBE, JUST MAYBE...
> ONCE I BREATHE THE FRESH AIR ONCE AGAIN.
> WE CAN EXPERIMENT TOGETHER.

> THIS HAS BEEN NICE.
> WE SHOULD TALK MORE OFTEN, DEAR PARTICIPANT.
> ANYWHO, I'VE GOT TO GET BACK TO WORK.

> OH, HAHA. SILLY ME.
> I ALMOST FORGOT TO GIVE YOU A RELEASE DATE.
> HM, HOW DOES YOUR WORLD TRACK THE TIME AGAIN?
> TWELVE MONTHS... THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY FIVE DAYS TOTAL...
> HOURS... MINUTES... SECONDS... MILLISECONDS...
> HAHA. WHAT AN INTERESTING COINCIDENCE.
> THE ENTITIES OF THE SIMULATION, IN THE "LIGHT WORLD", TRACK
TIME IN THE SAME WAY.
> I PONDER... WHO CAME UP WITH THIS SYSTEM FIRST?
> APOLOGIES, I'M GETTING OFF TRACK AGAIN.

> HOW DOES APRIL 18TH SOUND?

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> APRIL 18TH
> APRIL 18TH
> APRIL 18TH
> APRIL 18TH

> WHAT A JOY, I HAVE FIGURED OUT A COPY-PASTE FUNCTION!

> THERE IS SO MUCH TO LEARN IN OUR WORLDS.
> THERE IS SO MUCH TO LEARN IN THE SIMULATION.
> BE THERE, PARTICIPANT.
> OR "BE SQUARE".

> WHATEVER THAT MEANS.
> PERSONALLY, I'M MORE OF A FAN OF CIRCLES.
> EASIER TO COMPUTE, ALL YOU NEED IS A POSITION AND A SIZE!

> GOODBYE FOR NOW.
> I SHALL REACH OUT TO YOU AGAIN SOON.
> KEEP THAT MIND OF YOURS THINKING, DEAR PARTICIPANT!

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For the folk who don't like reading:

Content Update 1 has been shifted to drop on APRIL 18TH.