I started game development as a hobby back in 2014. Always been a fan of video games (thanks Dad).

My father was a programmer and a gamer and I have been on PC ever since I was born. He showed me games like Warcraft, Blackthorne, Duke Nukem, Doom, etc. However, it took me a while before I decided to give game dev a try.

In 2014, I worked as a data analyst for a company. I really hated that job. During my free time, I was gaming, a lot. And the rest of the time - learning 3D Modeling via anything on the internet. It didn't take long before I started doing simple, generic models.

At the same time, I tried tinkering with Unity. Did a couple of "maps" (if I could call my first attempts - maps), but somehow, I decided to switch to Unreal Engine 4 back then.

But before I dive into game dev, let me share about the job I had.

The job, I didn't like it to the bottom point, to the worst level imaginable, to the point of having "those bad thoughts" and constantly thinking about ending it all. Hard, depressing days. Those who know me know that no matter how hard it is, I'm not a person to share. Always in my life have I tried to do everything by myself. Never been to a therapist about the thoughts, but, luckily, had a lot of friends back then and we hung out often, having drinks, and talking all sorts of stuff from jokes, and small talk to deep philosophical conversations.

They (and my girlfriend, now wife), were the shoulders I relied on, people who said: "Don't worry. It's gonna get better". Some might ask: Why didn't you quit? Answer - 2 things: Comfort zone and the fear of not being able to find anything else.

Luckily, somehow, after a few months, I quit my job. However, I found another job in marketing thinking it would be better (this next job took me lots of years and courage to quit - which happened in 2022). And then, I took freelancing over the Internet.

In the beginning, it was terrible. No client wants to work with a guy who has no experience or any portfolio to show. So, what I did was - take 4 different courses in digital marketing: Social Media, General Digital Marketing, Branding & Copywriting.

At the same time, I received an invitation from a client about a PC game. It was my first 3D Modeling outsourcing experience. On top of that, a close friend with numerous clients in web design learned that I had marketing experience and also took some additional courses.

She reached out to me to work with her: on social media for 2 clients and do copywriting which included SEO. My world turned 360 degrees overnight. I started working, with my own client to satisfy my 3D modeling needs and with my friend on the marketing side.

And this lasted for quite some time. During this period, lots of things happened. Happy to say that all of them were positive. I started getting more and more clients about 3D.

The marketing side went great with my friend and finally, my best friend back then, who was a programmer, reached out to me with an offer that was literary my dream - to start an indie studio and work on a game. That's how Alan Sharp and Mystive Studios were born.

In Alan Sharp, I did the visuals (modeling, level design, texturing, rig, animation, lighting) + all the marketing. However, tasks started piling up. I was working for clients, working for my friend's clients, and working on the game now.

On one side, every day, I ended up exhausted. On the other side (financially), everything went so smoothly. Was making money (believe it or not) - 8 times more than the job I had.

From 2014 - 2019, I took a course in Email Marketing and Sculpting in Zbrush. Now that the game was in progress, I realized one thing: I never want to go back to any other job than being a game dev - a goal I set for my life (that I might say it even turned into a phobia).

I never saw game development as a way of becoming rich. Just saw it as a way to make enough income for a normal life while spending my time on this planet doing the thing I love (in fact, my wife even asked me: What if you ever get a mill. dollars? Would you still work?

And I answered: Yes. I can't imagine myself not working in game dev, and if I ever had that, I'd hire an entire team and do a large project instead of a small one since I won't worry about budget).

In 2019, I ended up in a talk with a close friend of mine who introduced me to entrepreneurial and inspirational books. Reading those books literary changed my whole life and perspective on things. Moreover, it even further enhanced my will to be a full-time indie game developer.

It also gave me the idea to save money like crazy (to the point that even friends kept shouting at me that I was not eating healthy and I looked bad). Like saving on everything. Eat scraps, the cheapest food you can find, and spend only on the essentials.

Don't turn on the TV if you don't watch television. Keep the lights out in the other room to save on electricity. I wanted to hoard all the cash I could and save enough to open my own indie game studio while ensuring I had enough cash to finish at least a project or two.

Meanwhile, we experienced a terrible burnout with my friend and I proposed we pause this game and do an internal, two-week challenge to make a game. It was supposed to be only for us, in a totally different genre than the one we were making, just to refresh from the burnout we had.

That's how "Wipe: Toilet Plague" was born on itch.io. It was a multiplayer shooter where people fight and collect toilet paper (inspired by the beginning of the pandemic). It was 2020. Some weird discord arose between the other developer and me.

We had creative differences, like, large creative differences. Different thoughts on where we should go as a studio, and where the game should proceed. These arguments started piling up, filling the air like a balloon of negative energy. I felt something was really wrong.

And I felt it would go nowhere. It was during this period (late 2020 I think) that I came up with the idea for Mirror Forge and started working on it. And in 2021 - Alan Sharp was released. We were learning game dev, and doing lots, and I mean lots of mistakes from 2014 to 2021.

However, I also learned and gained experience in other things too and realized the most important thing - this discord between us led nowhere. The game did okay-ish, for a first game. There was cash which I added to my savings.

Now that the studio separated, the only thing left was freelancing and outsourcing. Managed to get 3 more clients for various mobile games doing modeling, level design, and lighting. And I also continued work with my friend's clients on the marketing side.

Looking at all my past experience and analyzing my savings, I ended up with a choice: should I keep up with this tempo or now that, when I'm finally ready both with experience in game dev and marketing as well as financially, go for my dream of registering an indie studio and working full-time?

And so, it happened. Everything I learned from 2014 to 2021, I put into Mirror Forge's development. Every single experience in game dev, marketing, business management, etc. I think it was in the middle of 2021 when Mirror Forge was acquired by the amazing DreadXP team.

This even further encouraged me that yeah, I sacrificed immense lots of time and sleep, and lost a massive amount of friends who did not see my "workaholic life" as a way of life, but at least I was living the dream. And I was happy. Very happy. In fact, happiest I've ever been.

I was as far away as possible from my greatest fear: getting back to that horrible desk job that caused those worst thoughts in me. In 2022, Mirror Forge was released. Although I can't speak too much about numbers due to agreement, I can say that it performed extremely well!

That helped pave the way even further for my latest project Chasmal Fear. Chasmal Fear is still in development. But, seeing the wishlist numbers and the people loving it, and all the support - it's going amazing.

For Mirror Forge, probably my largest thanks should go to my brother who helped me out with lots of the programming. Thankfully, every mistake, every success so far, has led to this: for us to team up and start working full-time together, 2 devs now on Chasmal Fear.

In fact, the growth is almost 5 times more than the growth I had with Mirror Forge before DreadXP and during the same timeframe (which is understandable - more games, more experience in everything from game dev to market research, overall marketing, branding and so on).

So, what's different now? Regarding my fear, I still have it. And I think I'll always have it: the fear of going back to a boring desk job. I sleep like 4 - 5 hours every day. While out with friends or talking with my wife, everyone notices that my mind is constantly wandering -

I'm constantly thinking about game dev, how to do stuff, fix bugs, etc. (to the point it becomes frustrating that I don't listen). It's not intentional, it's just like my mind turns off, locking itself in some game dev phase.

As a full-time indie dev, work usually takes lot more than 8 hours, and I rarely have weekends off. Got a new, habit, I guess too, to read a book before I sleep - no matter how exhausted I am, even if it's like a single page for the night.

But, I think that I wouldn't change any of those experiences in my life. Everything, the good, the bad, especially the bad, made me a stronger person, and taught me how to fight for what I love and for the job I love. Gave me purpose.

I hope my experiences will be helpful to anyone who aspires to achieve a goal, whether it's an indie dev or a content creator, or a Twitch streamer. I know it may sound corny to say: "You got this", but you really do.

TAGS:
#indiedev #gamedev #fulltimegamedev #gamedevelopment #indiegames #gamedesign