As my mom was on her way to paint something during dress rehearsal for Wizard of Oz (I play the witch) my dog got an allergic reaction. It was the scariest call I’ve ever had in almost a year. My mom had to leave because my dad didn’t know what to do, and I was left to cry alone. I cried alone because everyone was happy, and my purpose isn’t to ruin people’s days and make them feel bad. It’s to make them feel happy. (It ended up being an allergic reaction to her vaccines as I say this. She is doing much better now but I’m still scared)
I fear I may be developing some kind of mental illness. I’m not 100% sure I am showing signs of this, but I have a feeling I’m showing signs of BDD (body dysmorphia). Every day I feel ugly. I constantly look at the mirror and wonder why I look like this. It’s even worse on camera or film though. I was filming myself once for a Spanish assignment, but I couldn’t get my mind off of how my face looked. Half of my face looked like it was melting. My nose was crooked, my eyebrows slanted, everything was wrong. Everyone seems so pretty and I wish I was like everyone else. I feel ugly, I feel chubby, I feel like I should hide everything. I don’t know if I should get help. Maybe later I will, but I’m still unsure.
Well, that’s all I have to say. Love yall… take care of yourself, sorry for the yap.
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