I feel like shit right now... so I got my mom's attitude today... and let's just say today wasn't a very great day... I was on the car with my dad, waiting for mom to come back from a shoe store. we both we're outside of the shoe store and mom calls my dad and tells him to bring me inside because she wants to show me something. I went inside and she showed me a pair of black and white boots that I already had, the difference was that my boots are from Torrid and the boots my mom showed me were cheap imitations. She told me that since I 'never' let her use my boots that she was going to buy those. I told her that I never said that she couldn't wear my boots and apparently that counted as 'talking back' but she didn't tell me anything else and just told me to go back to the car.

After she was done and came back she started telling dad the whole shitshow and exaggerated the way I told her about the boots and stuff... my brother realized the situation was escalating and decided to act nice and innocent to try and calm down my mom... it worked.. but not before my mom told me how terrible my attitude was... it was like if I didn't have feelings... and after that she calmed down... I puted my headphones on bc I wanted to listen to music but I just got scolded... after all of that bullshit my brother decided to convince my dad to stop on a gas station and offered to buy snacks to all of us and just kept telling my parents how much he loves them (he has autism so he's a bit childish and loving) and my mom just said: 'you're just the the son I always wished I have.. I'm so lucky to have you'. . . Im not mad at my brother... I hate myself and I'm disappointed in myself... I feel like I'm terrible and a bad child to my mom... I know she loves me... I know she believes in me... but I can't help but keep overthinking about those words she said... I hate myself.