10 months ago

I hate when my hand starts shaking.

Gonna just put this here.


I'm tired of being seen as tired and mean offline, but a perfect little energetic beauty online.

The comfort I give others, it's because I've never gotten that same comfort. I give constant words of affirmation because I don't get those same words.

The treatment I give is never reciprocated. I'm constantly comforting people, constantly trying to be the nice one, constantly trying to keep up the Lils front. I'm not lils. I never was lils. Lils is sweet and caring, and helpful and comforting. I'm not like that. I hate it. I hate myself.

I'm easy to envy people. I'm easy to snap at people. I'm easy to anger. I'm easy to upset. I'm easy to break. I'm an easy target.

I'm just a comfort machine. Everyone thinks just because I'm behind a screen, that I don't have feelings and can constantly provide things that nobody else provides for me.

I'm sick of it.

I'm sick of life.

I'm always tired, I'm always lazy. I never do shit. All I do is listen to music, cry, lay around, eat, and repeat.



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I-Buki

Mio-Da!

Ibuki Mioda!

"Day to Day" (also check spud out here he's a great guy and writer: https://soundcloud.com/spudward)