1 month ago

I just watch Kung Fu Panda 4 in cinemas last night...

It's garbage. Not the worst DreamWorks film ever (Megamind 2 takes the cake for that) but my least favorite

In case you're not interested in my review, it's a 3/10 and a disgrace to the original films


Small warning: BIG RANT.

First thing first, the animation is sterile, overly detailed, and far worse than KFP 3. The third film, while the weakest of the original trilogy, still has the best animation and art style. It's like the Puss in Boots TLW of the 2010s art-wise:

In comparison, KFP4 looks like this:

Too much realism, too little stylisation. It was 100% not visually interesting enough to be worth watching in cinemas. Especially since the Kung Fu was rather mediocre and not unique.

It was also painfully unfunny.

I swear the bunnies that enjoy violence joke is done at least 5 times and it did not make my mouth even partially twist into a smile once. There was 1 joke in this thing that made me laugh but I literally cannot remember it- the joke was that forgettable.

Speaking of forgettable- the Chameleon exists, or as I like to call her, the Chamelameon (the jokes in this film are of that caliber, except without the wordplay). The worst DreamWorks villain by a long shot. Imagine comparing these guys:

(Especially Kai he might be less complex but his theme song is FIRE! )

to this thing:

image.png

Her motivation is literally wanting to rule China because she wasn't allowed to study Kung Fu because she was too SHORT.

What???

Whoever wrote this villain deserves being ridiculed in public, this movie series literally includes Master Shifu, who's shorter than her, and a LITERAL INSECT!

It's almost as if the writers forgot the Furious 5 exist- oh wait, they did. The Furious 5 are not in this film and we are given stupid reasons as to why the filmmakers were too cheap to bring back the voice actors.

The evilest thing the Chameleon does is push a guy down some stairs. I'm serious. That's how little she does and how unintimidating she is. Po's dads are scarier than she is. Her plan is also asininely bad. Steal the Kung Fu of old nostalgia bait villains so that she can defeat Po, despite the fact that Po literally defeated all the villains before. What's the point of transforming to, say, Tai Lung, when Po literally wiped the floor with him in the end of the first film? Not only that, Po could easily one-shot her with the Wushi finger hold, or the stupid staff he holds with him constantly, but he doesn't. That's Zhen's job.

Aquafina's performance as Zhen makes me want to apologise to James Corden, as he is clearly no longer the worst voice actor in Hollywood. Zhen's voice makes me want to strangle her so hard, and the character itself is annoying and stupid. Her only reason to exist in the film is to replace Po and take focus away from him (like that would work)

The instant on the scene in the boat where she talks about how she was an orphan who was 'taken in' I knew instantly that she was in cahoots with The Chameleon based on how she doesn't mention who adopted her. The twist was that obvious and predictable.

I also correctly guessed that she would become the new Dragon Warrior the instant I saw her- the 'passing the torch' cliche is obvious, and annoying as hell

Also when all the villains bowed to Po or whatever I actively cringed. WHAT? These people literally died before accepting losing to Po and are the evilest people in this Universe yet beating the pathetic Chamelameon gains their respect?

There are so many inconsistencies in the plot that it doesn't feel canon- people not knowing Po despite saving ALL of China from Lord Shen and General Kai, the fact that Po cannot reach inner peace despite literally doing that in the second film, The Chameleon using straight up sorcery- magic in the KFP universe is confined to Chi-relating skills, not straight up shapeshifting you bozos.

And my favourite:

Shifu carries Oogway's old staff (which for some reason lacks the binding on it- the animators forgot the stick was broken by Tai Lung lol) which Oogway gave to him before entering the spirit realm. Thus, Shifu is the Spiritual Leader of the Valley of Peace, not Po. He's the one who Oogway deliberately chose to lead after him. Oogway literally calls Po the Dragon Warrior at the end of 3, not Spiritual Leader! What is this guy yapping on about? Po is the Legendary Dragon Warrior prophesised by Oogway 500 years previously, and while he's still young the writers want him to retire?

The dumbest part (I'm still not done sorry) is the whole Spiritual Leader garbage. He tries to solve problems peacefully, but then reverts to kicking butt the instant it fails. Any UT player could tell you that pacifism requires going all the way to be peaceful, not just beating up people who seem to not be redeemable!

The play off the entire "he doesn't know how to make proverbs" thing as a joke- an unfunny one- yet the writers forgot the most influential quote of the original Kung Fu Panda:

image.png

A masterful proverb made by Po after his dad reveals that his secret recipe relies solely on the belief of it being special, yet in the 4th film he cannot come up with a single quote... despite being skilled in witty banter and improv! What?!?

I'm not even a Kung Fu Panda fan (more of a HTTYD fan) and this film feels like a betrayal of the series- a lazy cash grab that adds nothing to the Universe except plot holes and nonsensical magic.

I literally had a headache leaving the theater room, that's how bad it was. This is literally the first time I ever watched a film in the cinema and left angry at the film (which is the reason I'm making a review - this was made as more of a vent post than a review)

I suppose I'd like to hear what others think, I don't mind if you like the film. I don't like it though.



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