Thomas: Alright..

Dr. Hackenbush: So.. Assessing the situation. Are they breathing?

Thomas: [sarcastic tone] No, Rose. They are not breathing. AND. They have no arms or legs

Hackenbush: No- That's not part of it

Thomas: Where are they??? Y'know what? If we come across somebody, with no arms or legs do we BOTHER resuscitating them?

Also Tom: I mean, what kind of quality life do we have there?

Wally: I would wanna live with no legs!

Thomas: How 'bout no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Wally. You don't do anything

Alyssa (internally): dad why are you roasting my boyfriend like this

Hackenbush: Alright- Well let's get back to it cuz you're losing 'em

Thomas: *pumps too fast*

Hackenbush: Okay. Too fast! Everyone! We should pump it a pace of 100 beats per minute

Thomas: Okayyy. That's hard to keep track. How many is that per hour?

Grant: How is that gonna help you?

Thomas: I will divide and then count to it

Grant: Right.

Hackenbush: Okay! Well, a good trick is to pump to the tune of Stayin' Alive by the Bee Gees. Do you know that song?

Thomas: Yes! I love that song

Also Tom: [ahem] First I was afraid, I was petrified~

Hackenbush: No... It's Ah, ah, ah, ah. Stayin' alive, stayin' alive

Thomas: Okay- Yeah-

Buddy: You were in the parking lot earlier. That's how I know you!

Everyone: *stares*

Buddy: [◉v◉ face and hugs his backpack]

Dot next to him (internally): dude what

Thomas: [breaths in]: Ah, ah, ah, ah. Stayin alive, stayin' alive

Dot: [starts clapping, then standing up to dance]

Buddy (internally): sis wtf

Theo, joining in with Tom: Ah, ah, ah, ah. Stayin alive, stayin' alive!

Thomas: Ah, ah, ah, ah. Stayin' alive, stayin' ali... [stops pumping]

Theo: Mmm. Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man, no time to talk. Music loud and women warm, I've been kicked around since I was born! And now it's alright, it's okay, and you may look the other way!

Also Theo: DOO DO DOO DO DO DOO

Hackenbush: OKAY! OKAY!

Both the Connor twins: [mumbling the lyrics then actually singing them] STAYIN' ALIVE! STAYIN' ALIVE!

Hackenbush: Okay. You didn't maintain a hundred beats per minute, and the ambulance didn't arrive because nobody called 911! [points to dummy] So you lost 'em

Sammy: [stands up] Okay! He's dead! Anybody know what we do next? Anybody? Rose?

Hackenbush: I have no idea

Amy: We bury him!

Sammy: Wrong. [imitates wrong buzzing sound] Check for an organ donor card, if he has one, we have minutes to harvest

Shawn, outside the room: He has no wallet, I checked

Thomas: He is an organ donor!

Sammy: He is?!

Thomas: Yeah!

Sammy: [kneels down beside the dummy] Gimme some ice in a styrofoam bucket! [pulls out a knife from his knife wrap on his ankle] Here we go!

Also Sam: [stabs the dummy] [grunts]

Susie: My God!

Lacie: Sammy!

Henry: [quickly covers, Dot, Buddy and Amy's eyes]

Allison: [covers Wally and Alyssa's eyes]

Sammy: GAAAAAAh- [stabs again]

Sammy: We search for the organs! Where's the heart? The precious heart

Bertrum: I'm not feeling well, I need to sit down.

Lacie: [tries to comfort him] Aw, Bertie I-

[weird suckering sounds or smth]

Abby: [screams]

Susie: Sammy!

Norman: Oh my God-

Lisa: What are you-?! What are you doing?!

Sammy: [eyebrows] Clarisse~

[later]

Henry: Can you tell me why you had to cut the face off of the dummy?

Joey: [just sitting there to the right of Henry]

Sammy: I didn't think it was very realistic in the movie. And it turns out, it's pretty realistic

Henry: We had to pay for it. Cost us 3,500 dollars.

Thomas: 5,300 for a dummy?

Sammy: Wow

Thomas: Well okay. Look. Henry, this is why we have training. We start with the dummy, and we learn from our mistakes, and now Sam knows not to cut the face off of a real person

Henry (internally): b i t c h w h a t

Joey: [looks at Henry] (internally) it's ok. i can steal Nate's credit card if you want