To explain why I am so scared: When I was younger, I was in the pool with my parents and their friends, and all of a sudden, I slipped and started drowning. I can perfectly remember that moment; the feeling of being unable to breathe, falling into rock bottom, all while everyone expected me do get back up. I gotta remind you I was 2-3 years old at the time and didn't even know what life was in the first place. Eventually, my father got me back to surface, and that was the day I developed fear of swimming. The same thing happened 2 years later, making my fear even worse. I went to swimming classes once and couldn't handle it after day four. Now that my father wants me to go to another school, in the SAME POOL as my brother (who constantly attacks me), I simply cannot take it.

Now, to get to my question: How do I stop having a fear of swimming? I really wanna know, so leave some tips if you can.

Update (TW:Vent): Oh fuck, where do I even begin? So, the day before this update was written, I had the first swimming class. And let's say it wasn't so fun. I got scared as shit the moment I saw how deep the pool was and started crying. Now, PLEASE do not call me a crybaby for it. I have trauma from nearly drowning twice as a very young kid and was expected to "bounce back". After the class, I told my father what happened, we had a talk with the instructor, and that was the end. At least I THOUGHT. On the way home, my father and my brother started critisizing me with their "OnE tHiNg Is BeInG sCaReD, aNoThEr OnE iS bEiNg DiSrEsPeCtFuL" dogshit. Bullshitting me with insults and threats gets you nowhere, and my fear barely fades away from that. Shit, it worsens and turns into an insecurity. How do you expect me to "break out of my shell" if you're stuffing me into it more and more?

Update 2: You know, whenever I think of the number 2, it is always something positive. Fuck, my second day at my first swimming class was my favorite one, even though the instructior was a bit of a dick. The second class I had was fine, although one bitch laughed in my face for some reason. I hate those types.

Update 3: (TW: Vent) Weeks (probably a month) have passed since my last update because there was nothing interesting to talk about. But now I have something. Basically during class some two teachers started talking shit about me behind my back and as I was trying to do something I felt as if all my pride got taken away. Another thing that happened was that some mother and her son came there and asked if he could get in the pool to shoot a video (we were in a public pool, to your knowledge) and as she was filming him she was constantly critisizing him and I just felt bad for the poor kid. That's all I have to say.

Update 4: (TW: Vent) Oh boy, so many vents! Literally, like, a day after my last swimming class my mother started critisizing me and acted like everyone in this world knows how to swim yet I don't and even compared me to some kid with Down Syndrome I haven't talked with in years. And that's not the first time my parents have compared me to others. I could write the entire Bible and a half about it.