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Lunaria Library

8 months ago

(OLD) Chapter 1 Demo/WIP work.

Read this and tell me what you think, I want brutal honesty so please do not humor me.

(also an entry to @Dynocation 's Contest)


Before we begin i would like to point out that Chapter one has now been rewritten so this work of chapter 1 is completely missing from the actual novel now, the rewritten one is more detailed but you may still read this as it is still according to the story.

Chapter 1: Olivia’s Time

Olivia’s sister

My name is Scarlet, I am a 31 year old woman and I am married. I was married at the age of 17, I was pregnant with twins at the age of 16 and I know it is quite young but you know how things cause you to be careless. Me and my husband live in quite a nice family home, my husband had a decent job and worked really hard to support the family. Both the twins were girls, we named them “Ivy” & “Olivia”. Olivia was a very sweet girl but unfortunately when she was born with an illness, this illness was unknown and we spent so much money on Olivia for hospital checkups and treatments, there were some temporary solutions to the illness but they stopped working within a day or week. Olivia is now 17 years old and still sick, Olivia’s body is pretty weak and fragile and even mental stress can cause her to feel unwell. Ivy on the other hand was very healthy, Ivy was a bit spoiled and often talked back and never listened to me or my husband, She was especially rude to Olivia but we still loved both our daughters equally unconditionally.

One night me and my husband went grocery shopping at 5:00 PM but when we came back at 6:45 PM we found Olivia cleaning Ivy’s room, I put my hand on Olivia’s shoulder and spoke with a soft voice,

“Olivia, dear, what are you doing out of bed?” I was pretty concerned, my husband was standing at the door of the bedroom watching me talk to Olivia.
“I was cleaning Ivy’s room, mother...” Olivia said.
“Ivy is not a child, she can do it herself, Olivia.” I said wondering why Olivia would
even go out of her way to clean Ivy’s room.
“Ivy asked me to do it…” Olivia said, Olivia’s voice sounded pretty tired.
“Ivy asked you?!” I got a bit angry on why Ivy would ask her sick sister to clean her room.
“Ivy!” My husband called Ivy, Ivy came running to us, She was holding a phone and looked annoyed.
“What is it, Mom?” Said Ivy.
“Did you tell your sister to clean your room?” I asked sounding angry.
“Yeah, I’m having friends over and am quite busy so I asked her to do it.” Ivy said without hesitation.
“Don’t you know your sister is sick?” I asked sarcastically.
“Yeah, and I’m sick of Olivia doing nothing in this house!” Ivy said.
My husband put a hand on my shoulder and said “That’s enough.” while looking at me, I stepped back a bit to let my husband talk.
“Ivy, go to your room, your not going to have any friends over” My husband said.

Ivy walked to her bedroom while mumbling, My husband sighed and asked me to get Olivia into bed. I nodded and walked Olivia to her bedroom room and helped her lie down. Olivia had very beautiful white long hair and purple eyes and she had white skin.
I gently stroked Olivia’s face, I always tried to make Olivia feel special because she has never been able to do things a normal girl could. Olivia usually doesn’t talk a lot because of her weakness. Olivia smiled softly and I kissed her on the forehead before turning off the lights and letting her rest.

I went to the kitchen where my husband was sitting reading a newspaper, I asked him “What shall we have for dinner, honey?”.
My husband looked up at me and after a moment spoke “Maybe some soup?, It might help Olivia feel better.”. I gave my husband a nod and started cutting up the vegetables. It was peacefully silent, there was the sound of cutting on the cutting board and the pages of a newspaper. Ivy was in her room as she was not allowed to come out until dinner.
My husband soon broke the silence by speaking, “One year…”, I replied with “What?” I stopped working and turned around to look at my husband. My husband looked back at me and said “Our daughter Olivia has one year.”. I already knew this but I still didn’t like hearing it, I stayed quiet not knowing what to say. After a moment my husband spoke again “Her condition seems to be getting worse by time, the doctors said she will be bed ridden soon and will most likely in pain In her la-” My husband stopped as he saw a tear escape my eye, he stood up and walked up to me trying to hug me “Hey,hey…don’t cry…” My husband said as he was hugging me trying to comfort me. “How can I not cry? I don’t want to loose my dear Olivia…” I said with a shaky voice while crying. My husband was now feeling guilty and spoke “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have bought that up.”, “What were you trying to say by telling me all this?” I asked wanting to know the point of mentioning Olivia’s time. “I was just thinking about Olivia a lot and I wanted her last moments to be that of love and peace.” My husband said. “And you don’t think I don’t?” I said immediately, I wasn’t trying to come off rude or angry. “N-no that’s not what I meant...It’s about Ivy.” My husband said. “Ivy?” I repeated, “Yes, Haven’t you noticed? Ivy has been quite rude to Olivia even when Ivy is aware that Olivia is very ill” My husband said. I thought about it and yes, it was true that Ivy was quite rude and disrespectful to Olivia. I sighed and said “Yes, I have noticed it...what shall we do about it?”, “Well...um-” My husband was speaking before Ivy walked in the kitchen to grab a glass of water, Ivy noticed us and spoke “Um, ill go back to my room…”. My husband walked up to Ivy and said “Wait, we need to talk to you.”, Ivy was a bit surprised that we wanted to talk to her.

The Kitchen Conversation

We all sat in the kitchen right next to the counter, it was silent for a moment before my husband spoke, “So, Ivy...are you aware that your sister is sick?”. Ivy nodded and answered “Yes, dad.”. “And are you aware that she is ill terminally and doesn’t have much time left?”. Ivy took a moment and then sighed before saying “Yeah, I know but does that excuse her from everything?”. We were quite irritated and a bit upset at this reply, “Ivy, we want you to be nice to Olivia, she needs a family at this point in her life…” I said to Ivy. “Oh so you want me to fake it?” Ivy said disrespectfully. I sighed and looked over to my husband who looked just as much frustrated as me, “Ivy, do you know realize the pain Olivia has went through?, Its more than you will ever experience throughout your entire life.” My husband said sounding angry. “I wouldn’t care less, why does she having experienced more misery and misfortune make me responsible to care for her?” Ivy said with slight anger. “Were asking you to be an actual sister to Olivia.” My husband said coldly hinting his anger, I put my hand over his hand and whispered to him “Michael, calm down…”, My husband was tapping his feet on the ground and he took a deep breath and said to me “How can I calm down?, Our daughter Ivy is heartless!”. I hated to admit it but it was kind of true, I looked over to Ivy and spoke “Ivy, Do it for us...please.”. “For you two? My entire life has been around you two this entire time!” Said Ivy. “Ivy plea-” I tried to plead but got cut off by Ivy “I’m done listening, So stop talking, Mom!”, My husband hearing this stood up suddenly and yelled at Ivy “Ivy, You will not talk to your mother that way!”. I could feel the anger radiating off of my husband when he said that, Ivy was now quiet and she looked like she wanted to say something but she kept it to herself. My husband pointed towards Ivy’s room and yelled “Go, Now!”,Ivy went to her room after a little hesitation. I looked over to my husband and he looked back at me, he saw the tears in my eyes and instantly wrapped his arms around my head and hugged me. He pulled away after a moment and sat back in his chair and watched me and I watched him.
After some minutes, Olivia came and sat at the dining table smiling softly. Olivia has always tried to be positive and cheerful, We looked over to Olivia and I asked “Dear, what are you doing out of bed?”. Olivia frowned a bit and said “I heard yelling and found it hard to sleep after that.”. “Sorry about that, Your sister just got on my nerves…”, “Why?, What did she do?” Olivia asked. “She sa-” I cut my husband off and said “Its nothing for you to worry about, Dear.”, My husband looked over to me and after a moment he thought that not telling Olivia about it was needed so he looked back at Olivia. After a moment Olivia says “Mother, Father, When will I be free from this illness?”. We both went quiet, We had never told Olivia how she will pass away in a year, It felt wrong keeping this from her but we just didn’t wanna break her heart.

The Reality of Things

I looked at my husband and he sighed and whispered to me “I think she should know.”, I nodded and whispered back “I know but...the truth will destroy her…”. We both looked at each other and nodded and looked at Olivia. “Olivia.”, My husband said. “Yes, Father?”, Said Olivia. “We need to tell you something very important.” My husband said with a gentle but serious voice, Olivia nodded and listens.
I start speaking “Olivia, your illness will not curable, I know this hurts to hear but its the truth.”. Olivia was now speechless, “You have one year left, I’m very sorry.” My husband added. Olivia was very shocked to hear this, She was trying to speak but kept stuttering with her shaky breath and voice. She covered her face with her hands and started crying, We both stood up and walked over to her and hugged her. “I-I’m seriously going to die sick?” Olivia said while crying, It was true she was born sick and was going to die sick. “I’m sorry, dear.” My husband said as we both tried to comfort Olivia.

(End of demo)



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