Dont you see how youre a beautiful living miracle? Really, the fight your parents had to have to have you, and to give you the life you have, doesnt that makes it already worth it?

Everybody shows love differently, and what they went through in their life also affects the way they express love, but just because you think youre not loved, doesnt mean youre not. Your parents love you, in their own way, that is, if they fight, its because in their head they remember what they had to go through to get to here, and they dont want you to go through the hell they went through, and sure, they may be a little annoying sometimes, but nonetheless, they want your best. Your friends also love you. They have that burning joy of having you next to them, of wanting to spend another minute with you, and its something that in both cases, with your parents and friends, love isnt something simple to define, because i cant and its impossible to simple say what it is, because its something unexplainable, imesurable, endless, like an ocean where our soul is drowned, its a fire that burns in our heart, its something so complex, that the only way we can think of showing it is by acting, that is, caring, giving advice ("dont put your hand on the fire..."), hugging, giving a kiss on the cheek. Its simple, but their meaning is deep.

If the demons inside your head dont stop, first of all, dont stay with them only inside you, tell them to someone you trust, and if you trust no one, call the suicide hotline, or a therapist, just dont stay with this amount of venom inside. Second, ill suggest you to meditate, with lofi, asmr, or tutorials of meditation, whatever, find something to have peace, and try to find something you like doing, some hobby. Remember, cry, sleep, meditate all you want, but dont xommit suicide, because its not worth it. Instead of planning on how to kill yourself, or youe next complain, why dont you start forcing yourself to see the beautiful side of life? Because, its true, it exists, but only to the ones that are really looking life the right perspective, because the bad things seem bigger right now, but once you see how much good there is, no bad xan outcome the good.