I've been having a rough time lately and school is starting next week. My home life has been horrible and I've had multiple breakdowns, one was on my birthday. On MY birthday, my little siblings got more attention than I did. Again. My sleep is horrible, I have insomnia, can't go to sleep, can't stay asleep, I wake up too easily and too early. My therapist keeps telling me I have severe depression and I should get checked out and diagnosed so I can get better help. But I told my mom and she keeps denying saying 'Oh, none of my kids have, or will have, depression'. I love my mom and all, but she keeps trying to ignore my symptoms, acting like it's not an issue. I'm just... Frustrated. It's hard for me to keep going. The only reason I'm still here at this point is bc I've been guilt tripping myself. Yep. I just can't take it. And every time I see someone on the Internet talk about their horrible parents, I feel selfish complaining about mine. Mine have never hit me, my mom supports me being gay. It's just... Ignorance. She chooses to ignore me. And because of the people pleaser mindset I've developed, I do everything to make people happy, disregarding me. I've also been called a pushover. Or that I need more spine. And I'm dreading school because of how terribly bullied I was previously. I'm sorry about the massive vent but... It's hard to keep going, okay? This is the only place I'm sharing it. I don't think I should have to fake everything to survive. I'll try getting more content for you guys, but as you can see, I'm struggling. My mom and stepdad had a fight recently too. My mom threw a whole box of Pepsi cans, all of them flying out. They all went in my direction. I got scared. I started panicking and hyperventilating, even crying. But my stepdad's only response was 'Shut up and do your chores!' Once again, sorry about this, but I needed to vent somehow. I just... I want to make it through this life. But I can't find the motivation too. Thanks for reading if you made it this far. I'll see you all soon.