There will be lots of swearing in this article.

I wanted to talk about other fan game servers and how rude they have been to me. I Haven't responded to it the best either with my responses or some of my actions. But It seems like any fnaf dev server I have ever went too has just treated me like shit. All expect golden freddy cim's server. It just is strange why people dislike me so much. Like all the damn time I post anything Its just them making fun of me or telling me I use HE despite me telling them 1000 times I wouldn't use it after FNAFB 3 and I have been working on FNAFB 3 for a long time.

I have never had a single person really be nice to me and not be harsh to me after 2020. It seems like I can't do anything without being laughed at or made fun of I will copy and paste my rant from hypixis server to try and to explain his better.

The things that bother me when they are jerks to me is when they will just tell me I am shit and give me a vague answer that doesn't solve the problem like "just use google" (which is stupid cause half the time google doesn't get me the answer at all or just unrelated results) or a thing I don't understand.

Yet they question why I am "not good" at things despite doing things for so long. I also really hate when they tell me I don't know UE4 at all. Cause I have used it on ADK for atleast 6 to 7 years now. I know what I am doing for most of my Blueprints. My games work right. Sure I don't know everything. But I know most of the stuff for Blueprints just not alot about map making.

There was also a time where I got shit for something that happened a while ago and I couldn't change and it was over emans face being in the game of FNAFB 2 and the people there thought it was something recent and they where giving me shit over despite the fact eman didn't care anymore and he forgave me, It happened so long ago and it already was sorted. Also they completely forget the shit eman did to us at time and when I brought that up they would tell me he was just kid. I mean I threw a bottle of piss at a kid as a kid but that doesn't give me the excuse for what I did.

I mean also just 2 days ago I posted 1 meme in general chat and said WHEN THE MIXAMO ANIMATRONIC IS SUS DU DU DU DU. DU DU And I got shit for that told that my mod would be taken away for counited rule breaks. They didn't even really give me any examples of these rule breaks either and then a friend of mine mentions I have autism and I also talk to him about it in the general chat and this one guy that hates me says I tried to use my autism as an excuse for shit when I never mention it once to the person asking me why I posted a meme gif. Then when I confront him he cowards away cause he knows that what he said was BS and I never tried to use it as a crutch. WHICH is why I regret telling anyone I had autism cause people will start to be mean to you even more once they figure out you frickin have it.

I then asked what rules I breaked and I was given a list and I addressed every single one and owned up to the ones I know I did wrong on. But it wasn't even like I mass banned a family of 4 I made a few minor rule breaks that I myself wasn't even aware of. I don't know. I am a werid and strange person but if I even tell why I am like that, They will tell me I am trying to use it as a crutch or something. When in fact that's not the case and the problems I have with myself such as being abused as a child, OCD, Autism, ADHD, learning disability and Fetal Achoal syndrome. Is it really a wonder I am so damn strange? I mean look at anyone has been abused in there life. Of course Ill be into weird things, Of course ill do strange things and crack offensive jokes. I don't see anything wrong with any of it and there are reasons for that I understand but if I explain I get told I am trying to use it as some damn crutch when I really am not. My words come out wrong and then people see them in a way I didn't think they would.

I never used my autism as a crutch in any of my response and all I really did was talk about how these things factor into my actions and I owned up to the problem and said I was working on it. I do admit I hate this notion of using it as a crutch and people treating me like shit now for it. Like fuck sakes there are some things I can't control about myself and I get shit for it all the fucking time. Its really hurtful.

I am sorry for giving that whole list of disability's. It hurt me in my stomach to even say any of them. When people find out about them. They either treat you worse or talk down to you like you're a child. There is no damn middle ground.

Not everyone on these servers are bad. There are people who like my stuff and there are who actually give good criticism that I have taken into account. However I can't stand being reminded I use HE when I have said many times to the same people I wouldn't be using it after FNAFB 3 and the other games that have it already are done. Its like anytime I show my shit they have to say that and act like this is some new project I am working on that uses it when its been the same one for a year now. Also they sometimes say build lightning when for me building the lightning has constantly turned good looking maps into ugly disasters and I WOULD never get a response on how to fix that. Also they act like because they made some siren head game or highly loved fan game they can act like everything is so easy when half the time is not even more for me cause I have a lot of problems with my mind mentally its hard for me to understand shit in certain ways or see satire.

I would leave. But I wont cause they will start to trash talk even more like they do with GFC. I mean there where times they did it when I was on the server too I know it would get worse if I left cause people are more open to shit talk when you're not in the same room. I want to still see some of the things I guess too.

I am not trying to be a sensitive person either. I normally am pretty durable with that shit when I am not in a horrible mental state. But I don't think I am. I don't like being constantly told I am shit. It makes me think I never can do anything right in my life. I honestly didn't want to get a job because I thought I would fuck up flipping burgers because of that.

Its just really annoying. It feels like I have been pretty much bullied out of any dev server I could have been in. The same people who have done nothing but hurt me and given harsh criticism's well there not going to be in the game anymore. I am not changing the story of FNAFB 2 anymore. I can have a very horrible person be the main villain if I want. I can have a burning city and a fire breathing foxy in FNAFB 3 if I want. I can have dark humor if I want in the same game. ITs my game. I don't need follow the moral code or standard of fnaf. Thats how get so many damn games that are all the same thing. My game is actually different. I don't care if its bad anymore I LOVE it! Thats all that matters to me and you know what? I am gonna keep using Horror engine. Because at this point I have been bullied to the point where I don't want to "improve" who cares if its bad engine cause I like it, a lot of youtubers like fusion z gamer and rexter don't mind and so do a lot of my fans of the games.

I feel great using HE I feel so happy making all these cool things and then people want to ruin that for me because "its lazy" I spent 1 damn year on FNAFB 3 and it has turned out to be one of my best games. Its not lazy for me to use it! It just sped up the making of the game. If it was lazy I would have spent at least 1 month on it. Theres alot more then HE. I spent at least 2 months on the main diner and other maps and theres alot of effort I put into it and to be told that I never put any effort to it is insulting to me.

I honestly at times I have felt suicidal thoughts because of the shit these people have said to me. But I don't want to give them what they want. Cause clearly if me existing pisses them off then I am happy to keep that going.

Anyway's that's all I have to say. I had to get that off my mind. It seems like I am everyone's favorite punching bag all for using a fucking engine they consider trash. But that's the reddit mentally for you. Take "memes" to far and bully others for not liking what you like.