Sometimes my mother or father say that they accept whoever, (well my father no but my mom yes) But sometimes they say very unpleasant comments about that.

Another thing I want to say is about my constant suicide attempts, you will think is only two, but is more like two suicide attempts there are 9 SUICDIE STREMPTS IN TOTAL (counting with those two more, It would be 11) and none of my family know it. The reason why I want or I wanted to do it, Is because my mother sometimes just yells at me about how I look, what I do, That I behaved like a woman, and shit, that's why i just end it all; Not only that, sometimes it makes me sad when I see people who are happy being themselves and feeling proud, sometimes they even post about their own Relationships and... I want that! I want to have a boyfriend and just take the liberty of being a woman or a man.

I don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend yet, and it makes me a little depressed just seeing that people like me are free sometimes to just be themselves, and I don't (ik I have online partners, but at least nothing makes me feel full, Is like drinking alcohol while you are depressed)

You probably go through the same thing, and then just feel empty, alone, depressed, and without any Hope of just being happy, a lot of people commit suicide just because they don't are happy or they just They are repressed and ignored by other People as if they did not count.

I just want to make an end to my story and finish this book halfway, but I cant, because then... What happens? Also, if I end my "book life" very soon, It wouldn't make sense because something better could have also come to me in my life.

I don't even know if I can continue with this, I just feel like hope is running out, or probably they are GONE.

Anyways, thanks for reading this, I will try to do my best to stay alive on this platform and in real life. I hope one day I can just be happy with a boy and not just being a depressive guy who always cry and thinks about if they are annoying or not.

Bye! Luv ya!

Edit: also I still having problems if I'm nonbinary or gender fluid, can someone help me with that?