Paul Newitt @NickCoonsPinkPuss

Classroom Teacher, Coach High School and Middle School, Head Moderator of r/Scratch subreddit

BS Taylor University, Social Sciences and Physical Education, Education 1990
MS Central Michigan, Athletic Adminstration, Physical Education 1991
Graduate Study MSU, Missouri, Adminstration Education, Education 1994

I have had the pleasure of teaching social studies at Franklin High School for 31 years completely unsupervised. It is a wonderful place to work where I’m in close range with minors.  Prior to that I was an Athletic Director for Southfield Christian High School but I got fired for sticking the ends of tennis rackets into my rectum in my office. For the past three years, I have worked on curriculum for American Government in my role as the Content Area Leader for the American Government District Group. I’d say I’m pretty good at it but last month there had been an incident where an alumni broke into the building and tackled me while I was on my lunch break and began complaining about how he “failed my class” because I would watch slime asmr on my computer instead of “actually teaching” but I explained to him that it wasn’t my fault.

I coach several sports for LPS. At Franklin, I am the Head Softball Coach, but I have also coached baseball and football. For the past 31 years, I have coached at Emerson and Frost Middle Schools in basketball, softball, flag football, volleyball, and I even host Esport tournaments for Many Night at Chinese Buffet.

My wife Sandy is lowk a hoe and also an Early On physical therapist for Livonia Public Schools.

Our son Tyler told me he was gay on September 10th 2025 and I pushed that little punkass bitch off our balcony. He worked in production for Farmington Public Schools in Farmington Michigan and was a featured artist on some guitar websites.

Our daughter Madison graduated from Taylor University in May 2024 with a Psychology major. I ended up eating her degree bc my wife said I couldn’t do an Arby’s run. At the moment she is working with in special education field and attending Ball State University studying Behavior Analysis Board Cerfication. She is also an Franklin High School graduate from the class of 2020.

Our youngest daughter Caroline is a sophomore at Taylor Univeristy in Upland, Indiana.  She is studying in the Business.  Caroline also plays club lacrosse at Taylor and actually sucks at it. I lost thousands of dollars bc of her so I started betting against her and made enough money to buy a new pc.

I love teaching at Franklin.  Exciting to see some of the Alumni children come through Franklin. They always avoid me and pull up a pic of sum “u.s. official restraining order” documents and then a nice police man talks to me about sum “it’s against the law” to crack a 15 year old hoe.

P.S.

I made Nicholas Lee Coon hit a geek bar through his anus in the 100s hallway bathroom at Benjamin Franklin High school on February 20th, 2026 by the drinking fountain.